Behind Closed Doors
by letthestarsfall
Summary: It was the little things that made him curious about her. She was often late and seemed flustered. It always felt like there was something that she was hiding, well, something she just didn't talk about.  Kirsty
1. The Morning After The Night Before

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 1 – The Morning after the Night before**

Adam tapped his pen on the reception desk his eyes firmly fixed on the doors to the department. Waiting. He wasn't waiting long, spot on time Kirsty came through the doors looking tired and stressed though obviously determined to be on time after Tess's threats the day before.

"Morning." Adam said unsure of what else to say as he straightened up. He wanted to discuss what had happened the day before but he was not sure how to go about it.

"Morning." Kirsty sighed looking up at the wise doctor trying not to show how embarrassed she was about what had happened yesterday her cheeks turning a deep pink. .

"I thought you might have taken today off..." Adam began recalling the heart stopping few minutes yesterday when he had had to resuscitate the young nurse after she took Ritalin to try and stop herself from falling asleep on the job.

"Tess is already after my guts." Kirsty shrugged him off "I did sleep last night and I promise I won't take any more pills that I shouldn't."

"Well take it easy ok?" Adam said gently

"I will." Kirsty nodded before disappearing in the direction of the staffroom obviously relieved to have escaped his questioning eyes.

He sighed slightly. It was the little things that made him curious about her. She was often late and seemed flustered. It always felt like there was something that she was hiding, well, something she just didn't talk about. Her husband hadn't exactly settled Adam's mind. Their brief conversation hadn't been that pleasant although he obviously cared about Kirsty the man seemed on edge and Adam felt awkward in his presence, possibly more because only two weeks previously Kirsty had come storming into the male toilets in the bar and kissed him like her life depended upon it.

Kirsty confused him. She was a brilliant nurse, he admired her enthusiasm, her talent for nursing and for trouble but at times it felt like she was trying to distract herself from something else.

But what it really his place to stick his nose in?

Well yes he decided. If Kirsty was a friend then yes it was his place though if she didn't talk to him there was nothing more he could do than be her friend. He still wanted to know what was going on, there was something suspicious, something hidden away in Kirsty's life.

"Doctor Trueman?" Ruth's voice cut across his thoughts like a knife "Could I get your opinion on something?"

"Yeah, of course Ruth what is it?" Adam asked turning his attention to the younger doctor and with a sigh pushing the thoughts about Kirsty to the back of his mind.

Kirsty lent her head against her locker. What had she been so stupid and taken the Ritalin? Why had she been so stupid to take the Diazepam in the first place? She could almost see the pity and worry in Adam's eyes as he talked to her. She could also see the questions on the tip of his tongue, the questions she really didn't want to answer.

She couldn't afford to show any signs of weakness or inability to perform her job to Tess. She was relieved for Adam's caring and understanding nature that he hadn't let the whole department know about the whole incident yesterday. She needed this job to support Nita and Warren, his incapacity benefits didn't come close to covering the household bills. Though she didn't just need the job she really loved it. Every nursing position she had held she felt passionate about enjoying every experience only recently after the accident had she really needed the job, needed not only the money but the escape from the house, from everything.

The staffroom door banged open and Jay entered looking his cheery self snapping Kirsty from her thoughts and making her stand up straight.

"Bad day?" Jay asked flicking on the kettle

"Something like that." Kirsty nodded

"Head butting your locker wont help believe me!" He chuckled and Kirsty smiled back "Coffee?" he added gesturing at the kettle.

"Just what I need." She nodded opening the locker and shoving her bag in.

Fully dressed in scrubs and with a steaming mug of coffee in her hand as Jay chattered about a patient they had had in that morning she made a decision. Home was home and work was work. She needed to make sure they didn't mix any further for her own sake more than anything. She didn't need work to be haunted by everything going on at home and she certainly didn't need Adam's pity looks. She really had made things worse with that kiss, Adam just seemed to get her, to understand her and with a little alcohol in her system she made a snap decision. She both regretted and didn't regret it at the same time.

"Earth to Kirsty?" Jay's voice snapped her back to reality "You ok?" He asked slightly concerned

"Yeah sorry just tired." Kirsty sighed

"Nah its ok." Jay grinned "Get that coffee down you I'm heading back to cubicles before Tess comes after me." He chuckled slightly it was well known that Tess took great pleasure in telling Jay off when he did things wrong and the cheeky nurse often found himself on the end of her anger.

Kirsty downed her coffee.

"I'll follow or she'll be coming after me too!" She laughed slightly

Things were better this way.


	2. Time

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 2 - Time**

Who knew being on time was so difficult?

Kirsty sighed as for the fifth shift in a row she ran into the emergency department.

She was beginning to struggle to sleep again which was not helping anything.

"You look knackered." Adam was blunt.

"It's been a long night." Kirsty replied putting her bag down on the desk of reception for a moment.

"Kirsty is something going on?" Adam asked simply "I mean if its anything you can ask for help Tess wouldn't be so..."

"Just leave me alone." Kirsty snapped having had enough. "We all make drunken mistakes."

She picked the bag back up and stormed into the staffroom Adam watched her go not entirely sure whether to be hurt, upset, angry or worried.

She really shouldn't have said that.

She really really shouldn't have.

Kirsty cursed herself as she changed quickly into her scrubs and headed straight back to reception to be given her first patient of the day. She didn't mean it. Ok it had been a little bit of a drunken mistake but not a totally bad one. Adam was a good man, pretty good looking with it. He seemed to care about her in away Warren never really had even back when things were good. The way he had sat there in the on call room and just waiting for her to fall asleep, his hand gently resting on hers was sweet. She felt safe under his watchful eye she hadn't been so relaxed in such a long time. She was glad for Adam's restraint, he could have taken advantage of her that night when she pounced on him in the toilets but he didn't. Why she did it in the first place she was unsure; a mixture of tequila, Dutch courage, a slight crush and frustration she guessed.

But she had a husband and they had a daughter. He needed her, they both needed her.

Things weren't simple. Her relationship with Warren was far from it. She wasn't sure how much more she could take but she couldn't exactly put her foot down and walk out. If she could run into Adam's arms, off load her problems and let him help she would, in many ways she wanted to do that, she didn't know him that well but she knew he was a good guy and he seemed to have a similar soft spot for her that she had for him. He had kissed back originally after all and then the on call room kind of proved it in her eyes but she was in no position to act upon this, not right now.

She accepted the patient's notes off Noel and headed towards cubicles, glad to get on with her job.

As the day went on Adam couldn't help but keep an eye on Kirsty which proved to be easier said than done as she seemed to be avoiding him for most of the morning until they were both called into resus after a RTA to treat the same patient. He couldn't fault her work, she was more on the ball than he was.  
Her phone suddenly began bleeping, she checked her clock and cursed slightly

"I've got to take this." She said looking panicked

"Kirsty? Kirsty!" Adam yelled after her leaping into position to continue pushing the fluids through. He watched her go a little annoyed and a little worried.

"Mads, would you?" He gestured towards the nurse and she immediately stepped in as Adam tried to focus himself on the patient who was thankfully stabilising. He asked Mads to call and see how long orthopaedics would be and then promptly followed Kirsty's footsteps out of resus. It wasn't hard to find her, she was down the next corridor, Adam stepped in behind a trolley with bedding on and listened to what she was saying. She was deep in conversation, he was curious as to who it was that she would have abandoned her post for.

"It can't be helped..." She was arguing, she paused listening to the person and then sighed "Yes, I'll be back soon... No It'll be an hour or so... Nita's getting the bus... She'll be fine... just take your tablets and watch television... I'll bring take out... It'll be ok..." Kirsty's voice was shaky as Adam listened to her side of the conversation "I know... I can't help it... Look please don't be like that... No, don't come and get me... Warren I said no... An hour tops I promise." She removed the phone from her ear and with a panicked look in her eyes she hurried passed Adam's hiding place and back towards resus.

Adam watched his worries growing. Something was going on and he needed to find out what. He headed back towards resus and observed Kirsty helping her patient. She really did have a brilliant bedside manner and she was really good at her job despite the fact she had just had what didn't appear to be the most pleasant of phone conversations with her husband she didn't let that effect her work, in fact the only thing that affected her work was her tiredness. He wondered for a minute what tablets her husband was on, there was obviously something going on there, he was obviously ill in some way shape or form.

"Adam! She's crashing!" Kirsty stuck her head around the door and Adam snapped out his trance and hurried forwards. Now wasn't the time to be debating this, patients were the top priority.

He entered resus and set to work.

By the time he left resus, the patient was on the way to orthopaedics she had long gone.


	3. Life's little complications

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 3 – Life's little complications**

Kirsty settled down on the sofa in the staff room with a well deserved cup of coffee. It had been a long and busy morning so far and she hadn't had a lot of sleep which wasn't helping her feel any more away right now. She sipped and listened to Jay and Lenny's cheerful boy-like banter as they took their breaks leaning casually against the counters. She really liked working here. She decided as she half listened to their cheery conversation, she had never worked with such a good team.

The heard the door open and her eyes flickered over to see Adam enter, his dark hair was ruffled.

Their eyes met just for a second and Kirsty suddenly regretted the snappy comment on their last shift together. Adam coughed slightly breaking the eye contact and headed straight to the kettle clapping Jay on the back and mumbling a greeting as he started busying himself with the mugs, the coffee and sugar.

Kirsty quickly coked down the last reminding mouthfuls of coffee and rinsed her up out as Adam poured the boiling hot water into the kettle. Jay and Lenny seemed not to notice the tension and continued their conversation their boyish laughs echoing in Kirsty's ears as she placed her mug back in its position in the cupboard and headed back towards cubicles.

It had been a long day Kirsty lent on reception, her shift was over but she was putting off going home successfully by making sure she had put something in one of her patients notes.

"Hi." Adam's voice echoed in her ears and she looked up form the file to see him looking down at her his arms full of patients notes.

"Hi." Kirsty nodded closing the file having checked the details were there and looking up.

He nodded slightly in return and placed the files on the desk as Kirsty put the file back and turned to leave.

"I'm sorry for snapping the other day." Kirsty said suddenly having second thoughts and blushing slightly as she turned to face Adam once more "It had been a bit of a long day, I was a bit out of order."

"It's ok." Adam said shrugging it off "Look I don't want things to be awkward between us..."

"Me either." Kirsty smiled slightly "We have to work together after all!" She added with a slight laugh

"We do." Adam agreed

"So still friends?" Kirsty asked

"Of course." Adam nodded "You know if there's anything you want to..." He started only he was interrupted as a girl in school uniform approached them and grabbed Kirsty's arm.

"Nita!" Kirsty spun around to look down into her daughter's eyes "What are you doing here? I was just about to come and get you..."

"I didn't want to be late back again! Dad was so upset last night..." She told Kirsty before turning slightly and looking Adam up and down as if sizing him up.

"I know, don't worry we're not going to be that late, it'll be ok." Kirsty reassured her "I'm sorry Adam, see you later?" Kirsty said suddenly turning to the kind hearted doctor whose eyes were flickering between Nita and Kirsty.

"Of course." Adam nodded

Kirsty gave him a weak smile and then gently directed Nita towards the exit leaving Adam watching them go an unreadable expression on his face.

She directed Nita out the emergency department in silence and towards her car. She let the teenager in and htne joined her in the car.

"Why didn't you wait at school?" Kirsty asked Nita as she sat down in the driver's seat of her car and turned to face the teenager.

"Because picking me up would have made you later." Nita replied logically, she had to admire her daughter's determined attitude, she really took after her mother. "Who is that man?" she immediately shot in return.

"That's Doctor Trueman." Kirsty told her "I work with him."

"Are you leaving dad?" Nita asked immediately

"Of course not!" Kirsty sighed "Nita I know things are tough..."

"You're so nasty to dad, you don't look after him properly, you don't care..." Nita began to accuse her

"I do care!" Kirsty replied cutting across her daughter's accusations "I care a lot Nita there's a lot you don't know sweetheart I won't lie things aren't how they were before."

Nita looked up at Kirsty with tears in her eyes and Kirsty swallowed.

"Will he ever be ok?" he asked

"Yes he will it's just a matter of time." Kirsty reassured her gently brushing a stray strand of hair from her daughters face "It doesn't mean he loves you any less."

"Do you love him any less?" Nita asked

"Things weren't brilliant before the accident Nita things aren't brilliant now but he always has been my best friend as well as my husband I just think the dynamics of our relationships may have shifted slightly." Kirsty tried to explain honestly "Doesn't mean I'm going to leave him thought I promise, I know he needs me and I will always love you."

"Ok." Nita wiped at the tears as they escaped.

"Now I thought you wanted us to be home sooner rather than later so shall we get going?" Kirsty asked

Nita nodded and Kirsty started the car with a sigh, life was complicated.


	4. Balancing Act

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Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

********

**Chapter 4 – Balancing Act**

The house was dark. Kirsty flicked on the lights as she let herself and Nita into the building. She glanced around the entrance hall almost nervously as if something might jump out at her or as if she was checking for danger.

"We're really late Mum..." Nita pointed out

"Nita we really can't always run to a timetable, my job isn't a simple in and out and that's why I can't always leave right away." Kirsty sighed

"It's not fair on him." Nita said simply

A small almost unnoticeable gasp like sob reached Kirsty's keen and well trained ears and she turned to the teenager beside her.

"Nita you go to your room and sort out your homework. I'll go and talk to Dad" Kirsty told her as she took off her coat and hung it up on its peg near the door.

"You will be nice to him?" Nita asked looking up at her Mum's eyes

"I'm not that nasty am I?" Kirsty asked a little disbelieving, the accusations from Nita that she was being 'nasty' to her father had been getting more frequent but her view of her father was fractured. Sometimes Kirsty's feisty character would collide with Warren's and they argued but she had remained here looking after him for the past year she didn't get how her daughter had gained such a view.

"Sometimes you are to him." Nita shook her head

"You don't understand the half of it Nita you really don't and I'm glad you don't" Kirsty added sadly

"I'll look after him..." Nita said jutting her chin out independently and glaring her mother in the eye.

"No Nita. Please. Homework." Kirsty said simply shaking her head a warning tone in her voice.

"No." Nita refused

"Go upstairs or I will ground you for a week." Kirsty replied sharply, discipline was not a side of parenting she enjoyed but sometimes Nita needing protecting from the truth and sometimes it was the best way to do it.

Nita didn't say a word she simply span on her heel and stormed off upstairs slamming her door loudly. Kirsty sighed, if only she knew.

"Warren?" She asked gently popping her head around the kitchen door and trying to see beyond the darkness inside. She spotter her husbands form curled up next to the counter, little sobs coming from his crumpled form. Kirsty sighed and flicked on the light in doing so she seemed to flick on something in him.

"You left me."

"I had work remember, you know I'm not always on time Warren I can't help it." Kirsty said with a sigh

"Fire." He mumbled

"It's not real, remember it's just a nightmare." Kirsty said coming over and crouching down next to him.

"They are burning, no one will get them out, and they are burning." Warren's mumblings increased.

"Warren your ok, you're home, I'm home, Nita's home, there's no fire." She reassured him and he fell silent. She stood back up heading to the kitchen cabinet and producing a bottle of tablets, she took two out, filled a glass with water and then walked back towards Warren who was sitting crying silently.

"Look here are your tablets, they will help." She gently opened his hand pressed the white pills into his palm. She stood back up and placed the glass of water on the side.

"You're trying to drug me! Something is going on!" His mood switched like Kirsty had just flipped a switch by placing the pills in his hand, His eyes were wild as he tried to jump up from the floor but ended up struggling up with the help of the table, a look of frustration on his face as he put his weight onto his good leg, his inability to get up as fast as he wanted seemed to only add to his frustrated mood.

"Nothing is going on." Kirsty told him gently "Look you need to take your tablets they will... help." She added as he threw the little white tablets on the floor and whilst leaning on the table stood on them shooting her a look that clearly dared her to speak.

He shuffled closed using the counter for support and then lashed out grabbing her arm firmly.

"Warren calm down." She said in a gentle understanding tone despite the pain that was now shooting up her arm from his tight grasp.

He looked her in the eye and then releasing her arm he turned to the kitchen table and flipped it over before crumpling back against the counter breathing heavily if it wasn't for his injured leg then Kirsty was sure he would have ripped more of the kitchen apart.

She remained calm on the surface her heart beating faster. A well placed and well practiced front, it was as if his mood flipped right off her, like she was wearing some sort of shield.

"I'm here now." She said gently. "Nita's upstairs do you want her to hear this?" she added

Warren simply glared at her as she moved one of the kitchen chairs closer for him to sit on. He reluctantly sat down. Usually Kirsty could rely on Nita's name or presence to diffuse Warren's mood.

"I think we both need a good nights sleep." Kirsty suggested wisely producing two more pills. "These are for your own good." She added offering them to him. He accepted this time and choked them down his eyes still fixed on hers.

Kirsty turned her attention to the kitchen table which she quickly turned back over and placed back in the centre of the room with the four wooden chairs placed neatly around it. She placed the misplaced items from the table back where they came from and turned back around to face Warren who seemed to be almost shaking with anger. He slammed his fist down on the table. Kirsty jumped.

"You treat me like some crippled child!" Warren accused Kirsty as they made eye contact.

"I do not!" Kirsty snapped in response "I'm only trying to help Warren!" She had reached her limit no matter how calm she was at times even she could only be so patient with Warren's accusations and anger.

"See!" A little voice piped in and Kirsty spun to see Nita's face peeking around the door. "Hi Dad." She looked Kirsty up and down anger in her eyes before hurrying over to Warren's side and hugging him tightly. "Let me get you a drink, have you had a nice day?"

Tears welled in Kirsty's eyes for a moment as Nita flicked on the kettle and quickly made a cup of tea for her father. She wished Nita could experience Warren's sudden violent outbursts and everything she did for him rather than this fixed 'Mum hates Dad' opinion she was beginning to form. But Kirsty cared too much about her daughter to put her in danger when Warren was being volatile and anyway Nita was his little princess, she always had been a Daddy's girl despite her feisty attitude similar to Kirsty's own and Warren seemed to hold in his emotions to a point when faced with Nita.

"Nice day at school?" Warren asked she placed the cup next to him. The pain and anger still lingered in his eyes but upon seeing Nita he had calmed, he rarely showed any of more unpleasant aspects of his illness to his daughter although Kirsty's could sometimes see him almost holding himself back from crying or lashing out whilst she was present. Kirsty sighed and opened a cupboard, time to play the dutiful house wife and get some tea on the table. Her hands shook as she removed the pasta from its shelf and poured it into the pan.

Nita burst into a story about her biology lesson as Kirsty cooked she glanced over her shoulder and saw daughter and father engaging in a vivid conversation Warren's face still looking twisted. She rubbed the back of her neck and sighed slightly as the pasta and sauce boiled, sometimes she felt like she stepped straight out of the emergency department and into another hospital ward with Warren as her patient, on some levels this was true. She wondered for a moment why she was still here, she wondered this same fact on a regular basis especially after days like today. She turned as the pasta cooked and looked at Nita chattering away and Warren nodding along. As much as she was here for Warren she knew that she was actually here for Nita's sake more than anything else.


	5. Finger Marks

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 5 – Finger Marks **

2am

2.30am

3am.

Kirsty's eyes flickered back and forth between the ceiling and the bright numbers of the clock.

3.30am.

4am.

This was a regular occurrence. She had seen these numbers on a regular basis as she laid awake, trying to sleep and debating the thoughts that flew round and round her mind as Warren dozed in a drug induced coma like sleep. She debated sneaking two of his diazepam tablets again but after the last time she had taken them she had decided it was for the best that she simply went to work on very little sleep.

4.30am.

5am

That was the last number she saw before exhaustion finally hit and she fell asleep until the alarm began to ring out rudely disturbing her from the fitful sleep she had fallen into.

7am, Two hours sleep. She sat up yawning. She couldn't be late. Warren was still out for the count.

She dressed quickly but cursed slightly as she looked down at her wrist which was encased with purple finger shaped bruises from Warren's tight grip the night before, she swapped her short sleeved t-shirt for a long sleeved shirt and threw a long sleeved white shirt in her bag to go under her scrubs, she didn't need the questions, it was bad enough when she had had to go into the emergency department for stitches after facing a particularly violent incident a few weeks ago, thankfully Tess had bought her mugging story.

Kirsty left Warren, he looked like he needed the sleep, and kissed him good bye on the forehead before heading downstairs to find an already dressed Nita eating breakfast, a bowl of cornflakes placed out opposite her. Kirsty smiled slightly as she slipped into the seat.

"Morning." Nita smiled, she seemed in a much more agreeable mood today but that was teenagers for you. "I made you cornflakes!"

"Morning Nita, Thanks sweetheart" Kirsty smiled sitting down and getting stuck into the bowl of cornflakes.

Her sleeve rolled up slightly and the teenager who had been watcher her mother closely anyway as she said immediately spotted the purple marks.

"Mum what happened to your wrist?" Nita asked curiously

"It's nothing." Kirsty pushed the sleeve back and looked into her daughter's eyes.

"Dad did it didn't he?" Nita swallowed staring Kirsty in the eye.

"Yeah. Yeah he did." Kirsty nodded, there was no point in lying but why did she suddenly feel like the child in this relationship?

"Is that what you meant yesterday?" Nita bit her lip nervously. "I heard a big bang last night..."

"Nita your dad's illness isn't simple, he gets mood swings sometimes and very extreme highs and lows, he lashes out too, it's all so complicated and I don't want you to get hurt." Kirsty explained

"He will get better?" Nita asked, Kirsty could feel the need for reassurance in her voice.

"He will." Kirsty told her simply "Now let's hurry up before I get told off by my boss for being late!"

-

Kirsty pulled shut the curtain on her patient, a young boy with a superficial leg injury which she had just stitched up. She disposed of the plastic gloves and headed towards the staffroom for a well needed break, flicking the kettle on she flopped down on the sofa immediately curling up into a ball and letting her eyes shut, just for a second, as the tiredness took over.

"Bad nights sleep?"

Her eyes flew open as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Adam's kind eyes staring back at her.

"Just checking you hadn't been taking things again!" He chuckled slightly "You ok thought?"

"Yeah, yeah just exhausted, I didn't sleep well at all." Kirsty shook her head as Adam headed over to the kettle and flicked the switch to on. She wondered for a moment how long she had been asleep, it couldn't have been long.

"Coffee?" Adam asked

"Please, I did put the kettle on but I must have dozed off..." Kirsty responded looking around her a bit dazed. She hadn't seen Adam much today, He was working in resus whilst she was in cubicles, so their paths had barely crossed.

"Are you sure you're ok? You probably shouldn't be working if you're that tired?" Adam pointed out sensibly

"I'll be fine, Tess would not be impressed if I took time off I'm still making up for all those times I turn up late... anyway not long left now." Kirsty nodded wishing Adam would stop asking questions, right now she wanted to just admit she was exhausted both mentally and physically and would like to go and sleep in the on call room for a very long time but she had to keep going.

"Fair enough." Adam nodded passing her the coffee which she gratefully accepted as he settled on the sofa next to her. She could see him debating asking her something.

"Just spit it out." She rolled her eyes slightly

"I just didn't know you had a daughter..." He stated

Kirsty sighed, well that blew any chance she had with him, having a daughter... wait a chance? She was married, they were just friends despite what had happened after a few too many tequila shots. There was no such chance in the first place!

"Well I do." Kirsty said briskly

"Or for her to be a teenager..." Adam added

"I was 16 when I had Nita." Kirsty added simply "She's 13."

"She reminded me of you." Adam commented awkwardly

"Well I am her mother!" Kirsty rolled her eyes slightly and smiled a bit "She's a bit too much like me sometimes, it will do her no good."

"It won't!" Adam chuckled "Got many more secrets hidden away in your mysterious life outside of work? A love for knitting perhaps?"

Kirsty laughed, she was actually relieved he wasn't judging her, a lot of people often did for having a child so young, being married so young, it was what had motivated her throughout her years at university studying nursing, it made her determined to prove people wrong about their immediate judgement of her.

"Sadly no knitting but who doesn't have their secrets?" Kirsty smiled slightly and then gulped down the last mouthfuls of coffee.

"Good point." Adam nodded as Kirsty lent over and placed her now empty coffee mug on the table and he suddenly fell silent.

Kirsty sat back up and looked over at him.

"What?" She asked looking at his face which looks like the colour had been wiped from it.

"What's this?" He asked leaning forwards and grabbing her wrist gently and sliding the sleeve up slightly to reveal the bruised skin underneath the long sleeve of her shirt he gestured towards the series of finger shaped bruises up her arm a worried look on his face.

Kirsty's slight smile faded.

"Nothing." She tried to shrugged her arm from Adam's grasp but he was holding her wrist tightly

"Doesn't look like nothing." Adam said simply "Is everything ok?" he asked concerned

"Fine." Kirsty yanked her arm from his grasp. "I have to get back to work." She said abruptly standing up.

"Kirsty..." Adam called after her but she was long gone leaving him to drain his cup and wonder what other secrets Kirsty was really hiding.

-

Kirsty lent against reception cursing Adam for being so nosy. Why could he just not leave it? Why did he have to see?

She bent down to pick up the patients notes but as she did so her phone began to ring, she picked it out her pocket and looked at the name on the screen. 'Warren'

She sighed and answered it,

"What's up?" She asked calmly as her ear was filled with a mixture of panicked words "Look Warren I have..." She checked her watch "...Half an hour left of my shift can it wait?"

The answer was a resounding no. Kirsty sighed.

"I'll be back soon."

Work may just about be finished but her day was far from over.


	6. Nightmares

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 6 - Nightmares.**

It was Friday night and a relieved Kirsty slipped into her place in the bed next to Warren who was taking his tablets.

"Night." He said in a gently voice leaning over and kissing her cheek.

"Sleep well" Kirsty responded as he laid down. She laid down herself and stared up at the ceiling thoughts already buzzing in her mind but after four shifts on very little sleep, three of which she had spent dodging Adam and trying not to end up alone in a room with him but with the lack of sleep she soon found her eyes closing of their own accord and she fell into a dreamless sleep.

The scream echoed through Kirsty's mead like a knife. She sat bold upright looking around panicked. Her eyes fell on Warren in the corner of their room the light from the window entering the room and illuminating his figure, Kirsty's eyes flicked to the clock on her left , 10am. She could hear the familiar sounds of the television playing downstairs as Nita watched her favourite Saturday morning programs.

"Warren?" Kirsty asked gently slipping out of bed and walking over to his side, she crouched down next to him.

"Burning. I'm on fire and I can't help, they are burning." He mumbled his eyes were glazed over and full of tears which were streaming uncontrollably down his cheeks.

"It's just a nightmare Warren, I'm here." She gently ran her hand through his hair comfortingly "It's not real."

"They are burning, I can't get to them." He mumbled

"There's no fire, its ok you're at home." Kirsty said calmly wiping his tears away with her finger "Look around you, it's just me and you and we are in the house, there's no fire."

Warren blinked a bit snapping from the dream like trance and actually took in his surroundings then looked into Kirsty's eyes.

"Everything is ok." She said simply

"I'm sorry." His voice was shaky

"It's ok, there's no fire, you're ok." Kirsty reassured him

"It's so real, I can smell the fire I can feel the flames on my leg." He mumbled placing his hand on his leg and patting at it.

"I know. It's just a horrible flashback." Kirsty said gently

"But it's always so real" He was like a child his bottom lip trembling.

"I know Warren." Kirsty said sympathetically "I'll get your tablets and a cup of coffee, we'll go out for the day or something."

"I can't go out." He said immediately

"Ok, we don't have too. Let's go get your tablets then we'll see what we end up doing." She sighed

She helped Warren to his feet and he used the banister on the stairs to help himself climb down them.

"The burns are getting better" Kirsty commented as he reached the hallway

"Yeah." Warren agreed unenthusiastically.

"Morning dad." Nita's head popped around the door and she smiled Warren perked up slightly and smiled back. "Are you ok? Shall I make you some breakfast?"

"No." Warren snapped immediately "No its ok you watch your TV." He added a little more softly

"Ok Dad." Nita nodded and disappeared back around the door

"I'm not a cripple." Warren told Kirsty.

"I know." Kirsty reassured him with a sigh, Today was going to be a long day she could just feel it.


	7. Purple Bruises and Little White Lies

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 7 - Purple Bruises and Little White Lies**

Days off were supposed to be used for resting weren't they?

Kirsty's weekend had been far from restful. Saturday had seen Warren staring blankly at the television, only stopping to hurl abusive language at Kirsty for not fetching the right drink, right food or for not making sure the right television program was on in between the time she spent tidying the rest of the house.

"I'm staying up." Warren had insisted come midnight his eyes fixed on the television screen

"Warren you need to sleep."

"Those pills are f***ing useless" He stated simply

Kirsty sighed rubbing her head

"Do you mind if I go to bed?" Kirsty asked already knowing the answer.

"You can sit in the chair." His voice strict.

So she spent the night in the arm chair. At first she fought sleep knowing that if she slept Warren would wake her anyway but then she couldn't stop herself, she began to doze off. Until a scream woke her, Warren who had dozed off out of sheer exhaustion had obviously had another of his recurrent nightmares and was throwing everything and anything in his reach around the room.

It took an hour of dodging the flying objects, several broken photo frames and nick-nacks and a nice black eye from a flying book before Kirsty had successfully gotten close enough to begin to calm him down.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He sobbed as she reached him and held him close.

A creak echoed through the room and Kirsty looked up to see Nita peeking around the door, the noise having woken her. Her eyes were full of tears and Kirsty gestured for her to come closer to where she was sat, holding Warren as he sobbed into her shoulder. She squeezed Nita's hand.

"It's all ok sweetheart, I promise, dads fine." Kirsty told her quietly

"Your eye..." Nita pointed out

"It doesn't hurt, you get some sleep ok?" Kirsty reassured her

"Ok Mum." Nita agreed sadly

By the time Warren had cried himself to sleep it was 6am.

He was too heavy for Kirsty to lift, so she placed a pillow under his head and draped an old blanket over his body before curling up on the sofa herself.

9am arrived and Warren awoke, calm.

Kirsty blinked open her uninjured eye and watched him shuffle out of the room. She closed her eye again and squeezed them shut hoping to get a few more minutes of sleep.

10am he returned, washed dressed , with a plate of toast and turned the television on.

"Feeling ok today?" Kirsty asked blinking her eyes open at the rude interruption and sitting up.

"Would have been better if you had my breakfast ready."

Kirsty almost snapped back but she kept her lips shut tight. Sometimes she wondered if he even remembered the long hours she spent holding him whilst he sobbed, talking him out of a nightmare, making sure every household task was completed.

She bit her tongue and left the room to be faced with a concerned thirteen year old.

"Your eye is all purple." Nita commented

"Its ok I'll sort it in a minute" Kirsty told her "Are you ok?"

"Bit tired." Nita commented "What happened?"

"Dad had a nightmare."

"About the fire?" Nita asked

"Yes, but he's feeling much better today, at least that's what I took his comment about not making breakfast to mean." Kirsty said bitterly "Sorry sweetheart I'm tired and a bit grouchy." She added hoping Nita wouldn't accuse her once more of being mean to Warren.

"It's ok mum, do you want some cornflakes?" Nita offered, today she seemed to realise that her Mum was being pushed to her limit.

"No but a cup of coffee wouldn't go a miss." Kirsty smiled walking out of the kitchen and upstairs to examine the eye. Nita was right, it was purple. She headed back downstairs and pulled out a bag of peas from the freezer and placed it over her face.

"Bag of peas, best home remedy ever" Kirsty told Nita who handed her a mug of coffee

Nita smiled

"Why don't you go do something in your room today" Kirsty suggested "the living room is in a bit of a state."

"Ok." Nita agreed not really knowing what else to say, she hurried out the room and Kirsty sighed tiredly.

Most of Kirsty's Sunday was spent tidying the living room whilst Warren watched television and didn't even so much as acknowledge her presence and to top things off nicely she was due on the night shift tonight.

At 3pm she snuck off to bed and crawled under her covers still in the same clothes as the day before and let her heavy eyelids shut finally.

7pm she was woken by screaming.

"Kirsty! Kirsty get down here!"

She threw herself out of bed and hurried downstairs giving Nita a 'stay in your room' look as she passed the curious teenagers bedroom door.

"What happened to tea time?"

"I'm sorry Warren I was just catching a bit of a nap, I'm on nights today remember." Kirsty tired to explain only to find his hand firmly on her shoulder pushing her against the wall.

"Get me my tea, Now!" He screamed in her face.

"I will if you get off me!" Kirsty replied her fiery temperament getting the better off her earning her a slap across the face. "I can't cook if I'm pinned against the wall."

Warren released her

"Ten minutes." She told him rubbing her face and holding back the tears as she headed towards the kitchen. She dug out a microwave meal from the freezer and popped in the microwave, thank god for microwave meals.

When the microwave pinged she popped the meal on a plate and yelled for Warren who limped through, taking his place at the table and ignoring her completely.

Kirsty checked her watch as she threw a second microwave meal in the microwave. It was 7.30pm and she had to get ready for work. She hurried upstairs to be faced with a concerned Nita.

"Mum? Is he ok?"

"He's fine Nita." Kirsty snapped immediately "I need to get ready I'm supposed to be in work in an hour, you tea is in the microwave."

"Ok" Nita nodded

Kirsty sighed and headed into her bedroom. She threw on an old shirt, tried to cover the bruising around her eye with make up as best she could and hurried out the house yelling a goodbye to Nita and Warren, she jumped in her car and turned on the engine.

She was glad to enter the emergency department, it was like a breath of fresh air stepping through the doors into the quiet yet tense atmosphere of the emergency department at night. Sometimes the time she spent at home made her feel claustrophobic so she was always relieved to arrive at work and get stuck in with helping others.

She hurried through, late again thanks to Warren, she hated being late but it couldn't be helped.

"Kirsty! Your late again!" Tess snapped as soon as she spotted Kirsty entering the department but her strict voice suddenly softened as she spotted the purple bruising around her eye "What on earth happened to your eye!"

"Fight with a door." Kirsty replied "I'm sorry Tess, I really didn't intend to be late..." She immediately started trying to defend herself.

"It's ok..." Tess said obviously taking pity on the younger nurse and examining the bruise with her eyes looking a little worried.

"I'll scrub up right away." Kirsty told the older nurse turning away.

"Ok..." Tess paused as Kirsty made to head towards the staffroom, like she wanted to ask about the bruise but couldn't find the right words. "Just try to be on time next time yeah?" Tess asked with a sigh.

"I'll try." Kirsty replied over her shoulder disappearing off into the staffroom.

Opening her locker Kirsty took a quick glance in the mirror, her eye was fast turning a nice shade of purple, it was no wonder Tess had taken pity on her rather than giving her the usual telling off. She sighed and quickly changed

Kirsty was relieved to get stuck into her job, She began assisting Ruth, who kept shooting her 'what happened to your eye' looks, in cubicles. At least the frosty young doctor didn't quiz her like Adam or Zoe would have, she seemed to understand that some things were private and that if Kirsty wanted to talk she would have talked. Kirsty found herself relieved to be immersing herself in work as she set about stitching a patients leg, she didn't have to think about home whilst she was at work, it was easy to keep the two places as two worlds, completely separate from one another.

"Kirsty! Just the person I wanted to... what happened to your eye?" Adam's voice echoed around the staffroom as he stuck his head around the door and scanned the room.

"Nothing, What is it?" Kirsty asked deflecting the question about her eye wit ha wave of her hand.

"Incoming RTA can you assist?"

"Sure." Kirsty nodded standing up and wandering over to the sink where she poured her rest of her coffee away and placed the mug down and following a thoughtful Adam towards resus.

"You look tired." Adam commented as they walked

"Couldn't seem to get to sleep during the day, guess that doesn't help when you are on the night shift." Kirsty replied simply but the conversation was cut shut as the patient arrived.

It probably wasn't a good thing to be so glad to be elbow deep in someone's blood but Kirsty actually enjoyed the challenge today. Fighting back a yawn or two, which did not go unnoticed by Adam, Kirsty monitored the patient's obs, called for orthopaedics and passed over the items requested by Adam and Ruth who was also assisting with the patient.

Two patients stabilised and on the way to surgery later a strong cup of coffee before her last hour of her shift begun was all that was on Kirsty's mind.

"Kirsty can I have a word?" Adam asked suddenly as she made her way towards the doors of resus.

"I guess." Kirsty sighed as Adam gently placed a hand on her arm and pulled her aside.

"What's going on?" He asked gently "Your always late, you had bruises on your wrist last week and a black eye now? Then not to mention taking Ritalin and some form of sleeping tablets! I don't know you that well Kirsty but even I can see something isn't quite right..."

"It's nothing Adam..." Kirsty shook her head as her phone bleeped in her pocket.

"It certainly looks like something Kirsty, I'm worried..." Adam started as Kirsty fumbled with her phone and froze reading the message on the screen

_Dad wont move, He keeps muttering to himself about fire, He's scaring me. Nita x_

"I've got to go." Kirsty said immediately looking up from the phone into Adam's eyes she made a split second decision.

"Kirsty wait..." Adam said jumping forwards and grabbing her arm

"Not now Adam!" She shot back as she sped towards the door and towards her locker where she grabbed her coat, her car keys and faced a confused looking Tess. Time to be semi –truthful.

"It's my daughter." Kirsty lied "She's woken up not feeling very well, I need to go check she's ok... I've only got an hour left..."

Tess seemed shocked, probably because Kirsty had never told Tess she had a daughter before but Tess nodded knowingly as Kirsty explained and gestured towards the door accepting that Kirsty's parental need to go and help her daughter.

Kirsty hurried out. Little white lies we're sometimes very necessary.


	8. Birthday Drinks

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 8 – Birthday Drinks **

It was Thursday. But not just any Thursday, Today was Warren's birthday.

Kirsty returned from work to face an excited Nita.

"Mum, can we take Dad to The Red Lion for a birthday meal?" Nita chipped in as a tired Kirsty placed her bag down on the table and flicked on the kettle. Warren was sat, unmoving and silent at the table. "We haven't been in ages."

That was true. They hadn't been in a long time. The Red Lion was a local pub which had a family friendly restaurant atmosphere. They had often gone to the pub for many a birthday meal or family occasion.

"Have you asked your dad, it is his birthday after all?" Kirsty replied sceptically, Warren had seemed to prefer to remain in the house as much as possible at the moment so getting him out of the house had become a rarity.

"I want to go." Warren spoke up hoarsely

"Then The Red Lion it is." Kirsty replied, at least she wouldn't have to cook.

She picked up her bag again and Nita produced Warren's coat.

"Don't fuss." Warren insisted as she tried to help him into the coat.

Kirsty let them into the car and started the engine. She wasn't sure this was the best of ideas. She yawned as she pulled out of her parking space and headed towards the town centre.

They arrived and parked up, Nita cheerily reminiscing over her favourite chocolate brownie ice cream pudding as they walked inside. Kirsty couldn't read the expression on Warren's face, it was something between happiness and dread. They were directed by a cheery barmaid to a table and handed copies of the menu.

Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad. Kirsty decided as she settled into the seat and flicked through the menu, it certainly made a nice change from hurrying home from a long shift to cook and getting out of the house could do nothing but good for Warren

"I'm going to have a beer."

Kirsty looked up from the menu. Had Warren really just suggested that?

"You can't drink on your medication!" She pointed out simply

"It's my birthday and no one, especially those stupid doctors, can't tell me what to do!" Warren blurted out

Kirsty opened her mouth to argue back but shut it again quickly, arguing in the middle of the pub would probably cause quite a scene. One beer couldn't hurt as much as him flipping over the table. It was his birthday after all.

"Can I have the chilli?" Nita asked innocently interrupting the defiant death glare Warren was shooting Kirsty.

"Of course love." Warren told Nita not taking his eyes from Kirsty's almost as if he was challenging her to have a problem with him getting a drink.

"Can I take your order?" The waitress asked interrupting their conversation. Warren looked up to the lady.

"One Chilli, a pint of beer, Chicken pie and chips and..." he looked at Kirsty

"I'll have the Lasagne." Kirsty added "And a glass of coke."

"Can I have Orange Juice?" Nita asked

The waitress took down the order, took the menus and headed away to hand over their order and fetch the drinks Warren took a long gulp on his beer.

Kirsty shot Warren a disapproving look as he sipped on the pint. It was his birthday but he still didn't need to be drinking.

He gave her a look that clearly said, 'it's my life I'll drink what I want.'

Nita seemed to not notice the tension between her parents or if she did she ignored it. Telling then both about her maths exam earlier in the day

The pub wasn't too busy so it didn't take long for the waitress reappeared and produced the food placing each plate in front each person.

"Oi." Warren collared the waitress as she walked past "Can I get a refill?"

"Of course sir." The waitress replied politely despite Warren's rude manor.

"Warren you shouldn't have had the first one..." Kirsty started

"I'll drink what I want." Warren interrupted her

"But the tablets..." Kirsty started

Warren's fingers closed tightly around her wrist.

"I said, I will drink what I am." He repeated squeezing her arm tightly.

Nita looked up from her curry and swallowed her mouthful a hint of nerves in her eye.

Kirsty didn't break eye contact with Warren ,it was almost like they were locked in a silent battle, pain shooting through Kirsty's wrist.

"Kirsty?"

A familiar voice interrupted the intense glance, she pulled her arm out of Warrens grasp and turned to see a familiar face stood behind them.

"Adam?" The doctor was watching her and Warren carefully. "What are you doing here?"

"Just come for a couple of drinks, Family meal?" Adam asked casually

"You're that doctor from the hospital." Warren commented interrupting the conversation

"That would be me." Adam nodded with a small forced smile "Warren was it?"

Warren ignored Adam's question and Nita spoke up.

"It's my dad's birthday." She said bitterly

Kirsty avoided Adam's eye.

"It was nice to see you Kirsty, Warren, Nita." Adam nodded knowing he needed to go, he headed towards the bar but no without glancing back over his shoulder and meeting Kirsty's eye, she mouthed sorry and as Adam turned away Warren banged his fist on the table.

"We're going."

"Warren we haven't even finished eating!" Kirsty pleaded

"I don't care, I don't want your stuck up colleague in the same building, looking down his nose, laughing at me, lusting after you, you're my wife!" Warren roared

"Ok we'll go." Kirsty agreed realising that Warren was getting angrier as time passed

Nita put down her knife and fork as Warren shouted at the waitress to get the bill.

Kirsty pulled out a twenty pound note and a few coins from her purse and paid the waitress who gave her a sympathetic look as she returned with the bill before Warren hurried them out of the restaurant.

Adam had not failed to notice the family's sudden exit and as he sipped his pint he began to worry about what was going on with Kirsty's home life. He had not failed to notice Warrens tight grip on Kirsty's wrist. Was he abusive? Was that why Kirsty was so secretive about it all? And why was he limping? Was she in trouble? He had to find out.


	9. Sleep and Questions

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 9 – Sleep and Questions**

Sleep.

A time to rest, a time for the body to restore itself after a hard day, to dream and to relax.

So why, yet again, was she lying awake staring at the same white pattered ceiling? Why did she often find it so hard to doze off?

Sometimes it was easy to work out what kept her awake. Sometimes it was just Warren's snoring. Sometimes it was Warren's restless body as he slept fitfully next to her. Sometimes it was as simple as those nights when Warren had fallen asleep holding her hand. She could never free herself from his grasp nor could she sleep. More often than not though it was the thoughts that kept her awake though, the little worries and the thoughts she was too busy during the day to think over.

Tonight she was worrying about work. About Adam. She rolled over, her eyes wide open, the evening in pub was once again playing over in her mind, Adam's face, Warren's grip. She had work in three hours and she didn't dare think about the questions Adam would ask when he got the chance too.

Part of her told her it was time to be honest, but part of her wished work could remind the place where home didn't exist. The problem was that the lines were beginning to blur. It wasn't that she was ashamed of Warren or Nita but she didn't want to admit caring for Warren was beating her. Did she really want the two worlds to crash together anymore than they already were? Honestly? Not really.

The alarm bleeped.

Kirsty stood up and embraced the dizziness that accompanied lack of sleep like an old friend. She dressed and left the room quietly and hurried downstairs where she made herself a strong black coffee before they day really begun.

-

It was a busy Saturday morning. Kirsty was glad to get stuck in. As predicted she could see Adam trying to corner her, each time he managed to get close she would slip away to do something for the patient, he obviously wasn't going to say anything in front of any patients or the other staff but she was sure she couldn't keep avoiding him all day.

Flicking on the kettle Kirsty sighed as she heard the staffroom door open.

"Hey."

Adam.

"Hey." She replied raising her eyebrows slightly as the kettle began to bubble "Coffee?"

"I'd like a word actually..." Adam said and Kirsty sighed "I'm worried Kirsty..."

"About what?" Kirsty asked playing dumb and focusing on the kettle bubbling away infront of her.

"About you." Adam said simply as she turned to face him.

"I'm fine." Kirsty replied with a shrug

"I saw how Warren was gripping your wrist on Thursday..." Adam confessed "You've had bruises on your arms before, and your eye..."

"Look Adam it's not what you think..." Kirsty started looking ashamed

Adam grasped her wrist lightly and pushed up the sleeve to reveal the purple bruising from Warrens tight grasp.

"He hurt you!" Adam said gesturing at the bruises "He wasn't just holding your arm he was gripping onto it so tightly it's bruised!"

"Yes but its not that simple!" Kirsty snatched back her arm and glared up at him defensively. Warren had hurt her that much was true but Adam didn't know the full story.

"Kirsty don't make excuses for him!" Adam burst out his anger shocking Kirsty "Please... please talk to me, how serious is it? Has he hurt you more than just a black eye or a bruised wrist?" he added gently.

"Adam really, it's not what you think." Kirsty backed away fro mthe doctor unsure whether or not to speak the words that were on the edge of her tongue.

Bang!

She was saved the decision as Ruth flew into the staffroom.

"Major RTA football fans vs. Lorry." She told Adam and Kirsty completely oblivious of the conversation she had just walked in on

"We'll be right with you." Adam told Ruth who vanished

Kirsty walked straight past him towards the door.

"Just promise your ok..." Adam shot as she placed her hand on the handle

"Fine." Kirsty said turning to look at him "Honestly." She added wit ha forced smile.

Adam nodded and sighed slightly as Kirsty opened the door and left the staffroom ready to help with the RTA. He followed lost in his thoughts about her, worrying if she was in more danger than she wanted to let on.


	10. Silence

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 10 - Silence**

"Do you want a cup of tea?"

Silence.

It was one of those days. Kirsty sighed standing up, she had been crouched down next to the bed trying to get Warren's attention. He was lying in bed, frozen, his eyes open and staring but emotionless.

She headed out of the room and onto the landing.

"Is dad not getting up?" Nita asked spotting Kirsty appearing on the landing.

"He's having a bad day." Kirsty told Nita simply "I don't think we'll get much of a response from him today, do you want some breakfast?"

"Yes please." Nita replied

Kirsty headed downstairs Nita on her heels. The teenager settled at the table as Kirsty bustled around the kitchen making coffee, pouring orange juice and buttering toast.

She placed a plate of warm buttered toast and the glass of orange juice in front of Nita and immediately recognised the look in her daughter eyes.

"What is it Nita?" Kirsty asked correctly predicating that the teenager had a question on the tip of her tongue.

"Will he ever be all right again?" Nita asked looking up from the plate of toast and right into Kirsty's eyes. It was an innocent enough question but a serious one.

"I want to say yes Nita but he might be on the anti depressants for life. It's really hard to say with these things, the physical scars will heal but the mental ones may remain for some time." Kirsty explained honestly

"Last night, he pushed you..." Nita said shocking Kirsty who hadn't realised that Nita had seen what had happened the night before, when an angry Warren had pushed her away so hard she had collided hard with the kitchen counter causing plenty of new purple bruises to spring up over night.

"He gets frustrated." Kirsty explained "I don't think he meant to hurt me sometimes he just can't get his emotions out so they just over flow."

"He's changed." Nita said sadly "I hoped he would be back to his old self by now. It's like he's a completely different person."

Kirsty could see the sadness in Nita's eyes as she spoke. She had always been a Daddy's girl.

"Nita he isn't a different person at all. All the qualities we liked or hated about him before the fire are still there he's just been through a horrible traumatic experience and horrible experiences sometimes make people react in a different way to how they used too but underneath it all they are still the same. The illness doesn't help, how he acts right now is more because of how the illness makes him act. He's very frustrated and scared." Kirsty tried to explain. "He still loves you."

"I know but he doesn't seem to still love you..." Nita said sadly

"I'm not sure he loved my before the accident. I think it's made him more honest." Kirsty shrugged slightly "As I told you before Nita things weren't perfect."

"Are you going to leave him when he gets better? Are you just here because he is ill?" Nita asked worriedly

"No. Well I don't know if I'm honest, I do care about him a lot. Whatever happens we will stay friends, because I want to stay friends whatever happens, he is very important to me or I wouldn't be here now."

"Are you scared of him?" Nita asked curiously

"I'd be lying if I said no." Kirsty sighed "At times when he's angry it's like a monster takes over his body and I am scared of what he may do."

"You're quite nasty to him at times though. Maybe that's why he gets mad?" Nita suggested

"We all have our breaking points Nita. I can only take so much before I react." Kirsty sighed sadly.

"Life is complicated."

"It is indeed." Kirsty agreed "How about we go to ton for a few hours?" Kirsty suggested

"What about Dad?" Nita asked immediately

"He will be fine, To be honest I don't think he's going to get out of bed today." Kirsty sighed "A couple of hours won't hurt."

"Ok." Nita agreed.

-

Kirsty had enjoyed the afternoon, browsing the shops and treating Nita to a new top. It was the first time that they had done something like this in awhile and it took Kirsty back to the days before the fire when she would often take Nita into town to buy her a treat or a new outfit for a party.

The blissful free time didn't last long. They returned back to the house, it was almost as if a shadow had swallowed them. Nita thanked Kirsty and vanished to her room. Kirsty paused listening for a noise that might suggest where Warren was but she only heard silence. Pretty sure that meant Warren was still in the trance like state they had left him in she headed upstairs and let herself into their bedroom.

She was right. Exactly the same position, if it wasn't for the silent tears that were now streaked down his cheeks and the steady rise and fall of the duvet she would have wondered if he was alive.

"Hey, you ok?" She asked gently hoping that the time alone would enabled Warren to speak up or move but he did neither. "Took Nita shopping today, she's getting all grown up!" Kirsty added hoping Warren might respond to a conversation about Nita.

No reply.

She settled down on the bed next to him and placed a hand on his forehead, he still didn't blink.

"Do you want to talk?"

Silence.

Kirsty sighed. Last time he had gone this unresponsive it had been days before he had started to move and talk again.

She stood up. Kissed him on the forehead and left the room. She couldn't stop her own life or Nita's just because Warren had slipped back into a coma of depression. If only he'd let her take him back to the GP's to get reassessed. She sighed sadly.


	11. Unravelling the past

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 11 – Unravelling the past**

It had been a quiet Friday night shift. Until it hit 4am and all hell broke loose.

"Fire in the children's home on Western Avenue" Adam announced the Kirsty, Jay and Big Mac who had been settled in the staffroom sipping on coffee taking their breaks. "We've got a couple on the way in, a fire-fighter and at least one child, they are trying to get the others out now but they aren't holding out much hope." He explained.

"We'll be right with you." Jay nodded draining his coffee Adam nodded and vanished obviously on the hunt for more staff members to assist with the incoming patients. "And it chaos begins!" He added standing up. "You coming Kirsty?"

"Of course." She placed her mug in the sink and followed Jay, who was bidding goodbye to Big Mac, from the staffroom.

She snapped on the gloves in preparation feeling her hands shake slightly as she walked towards the entrance of the department ready to assist. Fire related injuries were the only thing that seemed to shake the usually very professional and unflappable nurse.

"26 year old male, severe lower body burns, smoke inhalation, trapped in a building whilst trying to rescue the children inside." Dixie reeled off as they burst into the department and through to resus.

Kirsty swallowed as she helped Adam and the others shift the patient over to the bed.

Jay began snipping at the fire-fighters uniform which was clinging to his body, singed and tattered.

She couldn't help but scan his body from the familiar uniform to blistered skin being revealed by the removal of his uniform.

"Kirsty?" Adam asked again snapped Kirsty from her trance "IV." He added as she looked up at him. He hadn't tried to quiz her since last Saturday. Kirsty wasn't sure if he had chosen to not try and talk to her or if he had been too busy to, probably the latter.

The patient began to come around, and look around himself, recognising Dixie he turned as she sorted the trolley and spoke up his voice hoarse from the smoke inhalation.

"Did they get them out?" He asked suddenly "Those kid's. Did they get them out?" Kirsty froze as the all too familiar questions feel from the patient's lips.

_Warren's eyelids fluttered and Kirsty leapt forwards._

"Warren?"

"She had been waiting, hoping, praying for this moment for a week.

"What happ...en...ed?" He asked his voice hoarse as he glanced around the machines. He began to cough, his throat dry from smoke damage and lack of use.

Kirsty's nursing instincts took over and she picked up the jug of water on the table and poured some into a cup, she raised the bed slightly using the buttons on the side and then dipped a waiting straw into it so that Warren could sip some of the water.

"What happened?" He asked once more his voice a little less croaky after the water

"You were in a fire, You had gone in to help rescue the two remaining children trapped inside..." Kirsty explained feeling distinctly uncomfortable not sure if she should tell Warren everything about the children and his colleague.

"Did they get them out?" The fire-fighter asked once more.

"Kirsty, can you check the file. I'm going to bag these" Jay distracted Kirsty by placing the file in her hand "Are you ok?"

"Fine." She shrugged it off

Jay vanished with the clothes and her attention immediately snapped back to Dixie who was facing a tough choice about what to tell the man lying in front of her.

"They aren't ok are they?" He stated bluntly and Dixie nodded.

__

"Are they ok?" Warren asked as the memories came flashing back.

The shouting. The flames. The screaming of the children. His colleague clutching the hand of a small girl telling him to just go, to get the child he was carrying out of the building before it collapsed and the ceiling falling between the them in front of his eyes. His colleague and the girl were both trapped and the little girl in his own arms was heavy, limp and almost lifeless. The numbness as he turned a fled from the building. Fresh air. Coughing. Handing the child over and collapsing.

"They are dead aren't they?" Warren asked his face falling.

"Warren I'm so sorry..." Kirsty tried to comfort him.

"They are dead." He repeated

"It's ok." Kirsty tried to comfort him "There was nothing you could have done, the building began to collapse and the smoke in the girl's lungs was too much for her body to cope with."

He laid back and didn't speak another word as Kirsty looked on worriedly.  


"Kirsty?" Adam's face was inches from hers.

She jumped back and wiped at the tears she didn't know she was crying.

"Are you ok?"

"Fine." She replied dully

"You're crying." Adam pointed out

"Adam he's crashing!" Jay yelled

Kirsty offered Adam the notes and then fled from resus. Adam turned back to the patient, although he wished to follow Kirsty and find out why she was upset he had to treat the patient, she would have to wait.

She escaped to the on call room locking the door behind herself and collapsing on the bed.

They have called it survivor's guilt at first. He felt guilty because he had lived and the others had died.

First came the silence.

Similar to the silence Kirsty had been experiencing at the beginning of the week. He would either act like his entire body was frozen or he would go through the motions of the day without uttering a word. Watching TV in silence. Eating in silence. Ignoring Kirsty and a confused Nita.

Second came the flashbacks, potentially more distressing that the original silence. Kirsty could only guess the sights in his mind. He would wake up at night, screaming, sobbing, thrashing. Kirsty would be woken and spent most of the night trying to calm him.

He was also physically injured, light burns on his arms and torso which didn't affect him much but the thick burns to his right leg causing him to limp when he walked. Meaning he needed physiotherapy for over a month to help his leg heal as well as possible.

After a week of flashbacks Kirsty had taken him to the doctors where eventually he was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and placed on anti depressants and diazepam to help him sleep as dreamlessly as possible.

With the tablets came proper interaction at last. No longer did he spend a large amount of his time in silence. However the fire was taboo around him and he wouldn't utter a word about it except during the flashbacks when Kirsty gained a fractured in site into the fire.

Things didn't just get better like magic though. That was when the lashing out started. Taking out his frustration on those around him. He refused to go and see a counsellor or to go and have his medication re-assessed meaning that some of the time it didn't seem to be doing the job it was supposed to be.

Kirsty pulled her knees to her chest. It hurt to think about the events of the past six months watching Warren, someone she cared about so upset, so lost was hard.

There was a loud knock at the door.  
"Kirsty?"

Another knock.

"Kirsty I know your in there!"

A pause

"If you don't open up I'll kick this door down!"

She sighed composing herself slightly. Standing from the bed and opening the door, coming face to face with A worried Adam.

"I've been looking for you." Adam's spoke up as he looked down into her eyes "You seemed really shaken, are you ok?" he asked worriedly

"Just some bad memories. That's all." Kirsty told Adam with a shrug.

"Do you want to talk?" Adam asked caringly

Kirsty looked down at her feet. Part of her did, part of her didn't.

"No, No I'm ok, I think I just need to get back on with work." She told him simply

"Ok, if your sure?" Adam quizzed her gently.

"I'm sure." She nodded looking back up into his eyes wiping at her tear stained eyes she walked past him and into the corridor.

"Kirsty?" Adam said softly as she walked away.

"Yes?" Kirsty asked turning around

"If you do ever want to talk you know you can come to me right?" He stated simply

"I know." She nodded before heading straight back down to the emergency department.

-

"You're turning into Ruth!" Adam's chuckled from behind Kirsty as she checked a patient's obs.

"What?" She asked turning to look at him

"You finished at 7.30 right?" Adam asked

"Yeah I do."

"Its 8 already!" He laughed and Kirsty paled. She had gotten so stuck into her work after the brief meeting in the on call room with a concerned Adam she had lost track of time.

"Oh god..." Kirsty mumbled hanging up the patients chart "I have to get home."

She hurried past Adam who watched her go wondering why she looked so fearful. He was still not convinced she was alright, in fact he was pretty convinced that everything was not alright he just had no hard proof to go around throwing accusations.

-

Kirsty sped home, driving recklessly through the empty roads and pulling up outside the house, jumping out the car and letting herself in, hoping Warren had slept in this morning.

She slipped into the house, hoping to hear silence but her luck had run out. Sat on the stairs was Warren.

"You were due back half an hour ago." He stated coldly as she took off her coat and hung it on the peg.

"I know, it's been a bit of a mad shift..." Kirsty started

"Don't lie to me!" Warren roared punching the wall with the side of his fist. Kirsty jumped looking into his eyes which seemed to be burning with anger.

"I'm not Warren, it's a hospital at times it is busy." Kirsty told him simply heading through to the kitchen. She was too tired for his mind games right now.

She flicked on the kettle. She heard him approaching.

"I couldn't help it Warren..." but she didn't get to finish her sentence as he pushed her into the counter.

"You're having an affair!"

"I am having no such thing!" Kirsty replied honestly "Warren get off me."

"Don't. Lie. To. Me"

"Look Warren it was a long night, I am certainly not having an affair, just calm down and I'll make us a coffee." Kirsty said as the kettle clicked off.

His eyes flicked between the kettle and Kirsty and she had a horrible feeling she knew what he was thinking. He leapt forwards and grabbed the kettle, Kirsty tried to fight him but scalding hot water poured down her skin, down her neck, down her left arm and most of her left side. She screamed as the burning sensation rippled throughout her body.

"I don't want a coffee! I want the truth!" He yelled throwing the kettle at the wall, where it broke with a loud crack and pushing a whimpering Kirsty back hard against the counter.

"Warren, please, calm down, please get off, please it really hurts." Kirsty pleaded

"Stop lying to me!" He yelled pushing her towards the table with as much force as he could muster. She stumbled backwards over her own feet and her head collided hard with the wood of the table and a sickening thud echoed through the kitchen.

The last thing Kirsty felt was a foot colliding with her chest and the word liar being uttered once more.


	12. The Breakdown

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 12 – The Breakdown**

Blurry.

Everything was so blurry. Kirsty pushed herself up into a sitting position trying to ignore the throbbing, stinging and aching all over her body. Her head spun. She reached to the back of her head where the throbbing pain was coming from, she could feel a bit of dried blood and a lump from where she had collided with the table. She looked around nervously half expecting Warren to spring out form behind the table or a door and attack her once more.

The house however was silent.

She winced as she lifted her left arm and the memories of the scalding hot water pouring over her body came flooding back. She carefully rolled up her sleeve and she winced as she saw the blistered skin beneath. She suspected her side looked exactly the same, it certainly stung just as much. She was pretty sure some of the areas that the burns weren't just first degree but in some areas, second degree too.

She bit back tears. She had done nothing wrong, she had only been half an hour late home. She tried to tell herself that was just an outburst of anger because of frustration but it felt like he had just attacked her because she hadn't done what he wanted. She let out a small sob. Her entire body ached.

"Mum?"

The last thing Kirsty wanted was Nita to see her like this, she pulled herself up using the table for support as the world spun.

Nita stuck her head around the door and Kirsty couldn't hold back the tears anymore hurried over and quickly pulled out a chair for Kirsty to sit on and Kirsty collapsed into it.

"Nita, please just go do something, anything, you don't need to see this." Kirsty told her "I'll be ok in a minute."

"Mum you've been out cold all day." Nita told her "Dad's taken the phone he wouldn't let me call an ambulance, he destroyed the living room when I tried to get it back..."

"I'm sorry Nita..." Kirsty tried to apologise, this was exactly what she had fought so long to protect her daughter from.

"He should be sorry." Nita said for the first time she let more towards defending her mother over her father "Mum if this is because of his illness shouldn't he get some help?"

"He wont. He needs reassessment but he won't let me book an appointment." Kirsty told Nita holding her head in her right hand leaving her left and blistered arm resting on her lap. "Believe me I have tried."

"Should I try and get the phone and get a doctor?" Nita asked

"No. Its ok, I'll be ok and maybe tomorrow he will be calmer and I will be able to persuade him to go to the doctor and get reassessed." Kirsty said simply. She knew if she tried to get Warren to the doctors today he would protest.

"What if he attacks you again?" Nita asked worriedly "And what about your arm and head?"

"My head hurts and I'm so tired, I'm not sure I can think straight right now sweetheart and there's no point arguing over phones whilst he's in a mood like that." Kirsty sighed sadly "I'll get some sleep, you go up to your room and stay there just stay out of his way and then once I have slept I will try and work out what I can do. Don't worry."

"Ok Mum." Nita agreed sensing that Kirsty was both tired and in pain.

Kirsty got shakily to her feet.

"Let me help you." Nita insisted

"No its ok." Kirsty refused her daughters help making her way slowly over to the stairs

"You're as stubborn as Dad." Nita commented

"I am and I think that's the problem sometimes." Kirsty agreed

She made her way upstairs, her head spun and her legs felt like lead. She was even struggling for breath by the time she reached the top of the stairs and she collapsed, relieved, into bed carefully trying to lean on her less painful right side. She heard a small noise and looked over to the door to see Nita watching her.

"Stay out of his way." Kirsty mumbled

Nita came in and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"I will. Feel better soon Mum." Nita smiled and Kirsty offered her a small smile in return before closing her eyes.

She heard Nita leave the room before she opened them again and let the tears of pain stream down her face. She just had to sleep and she'd be ok, her body would hurt less after some sleep and Warren would be calm again. She was exhausted, mentally and physically and the second she let her eyelids shut she fell to sleep, her face still glistening with tears.

-

Something had happened.

Kirsty pushed herself up into a sitting position. She was fully dressed in her jeans and shirt but the duvet was lying over her and a snoring Warren was next to her.

A sudden throbbing from her left side brought the memories crashing back. The kettle, the hot water, the table, that last kick before she passed out.

She stood up and carefully unbuttoned her shirt. She gently pealed it from her skin and walked stiffly into the en suite bathroom where she stopped in front of the full length mirror to see the damage.

Her left shoulder was the worst. It was covered in bubble like blisters. Her left arm was red and a little blistered too and the left side of her stomach was covered in a similar selection of small blister like bubbles. Her body was bruised too deep purple and blue patches covered her right side, she suspected he had continued to kick her more than the one kick she had remembered.

She flicked on the shower, she probably needed some professional help for the blisters what would she say if she went to the emergency department? Working there made it so much harder to go there as a patient. She switched it to cold and stepped in. Letting the cold water soothe the blisters.

She must have been in there for over an hour just letting the water sooth the burns. Getting out to the shower she wrapper herself loosely in a towel and headed back into the bedroom where Warren was still sleeping. He looked so harmless and so peaceful. Who could have guessed he would have laid a finger on her or been so traumatised?

She dressed in a baggy top and loose fitting jean and headed down the kitchen. The table was back where it had been before Warren had launched her into it. The broken kettle was lying on the counter. Nita had obviously been tidying. Kirsty bit back a stray tear. She didn't want her daughter to be looking after her or the house or her father. She didn't want Nita to have to find her lying on the kitchen floor. She must have been so terrified. She had t oget Warren some help and soon.

"Why are you in your school uniform?" Kirsty asked Nita who was now stood at the door.

"Its Monday mum, you slept through Sunday." Nita told her simply

"Oh no... I have work." Kirsty suddenly realised

"You should ring in sick." Nita suggested

"I'll be fine, what time is it?" She asked realising that she hadn't even checked the clock since she climbed from bed.

"7am." Nita replied

"I'll get ready and drive you in." Kirsty said taking a final look at the broken kettle

"Are you sure you should be going to work?" Nita asked worriedly

"Sure." Kirsty replied "Not going to get a coffee here am I?" She added jokingly before vanishing to get her stuff leaving a worried Nita behind.

At least at work she was in a hospital, Nita realised, if she got ill there would be plenty of doctors to help her.

-

Kirsty had never been so glad to be back at work. The pain shooting through her body didn't matter she was just glad to be out of the house. She pulled on a long sleeved top and her scrubs and headed out of the staffroom. All she had to do was keep it together and hope that the blistering wouldn't get worse. She could do that couldn't she?

She headed towards cubicles. Ignoring Tess's worried looks but as she went to go and find her first patient she came face to face to with the one person she really didn't want to see today.

"You look terrible!" Adam commented as their eyes met.

It was too much and she began to cry.


	13. Telling the Truth

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 13 – Telling the Truth**

Adam didn't know what to do, he had meant the comment in a nasty way it was the truth! Her eyes were surrounded by black circles and she looked incredibly stressed and on edge. Her usual bouncy curls hung limply around her shoulders and she just had that over all appearance that made him think that something was not right with her.

"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't mean that to sound harsh, are you ok?" He stepped over and tried to hug her, but she winced and let out a whimper at his touch.

"It hurts." Kirsty admitted

"What hurts?" Adam asked confused "Kirsty you can talk to me you know..."

She looked around herself, shuffling her feet nervously debating between telling him or not telling him. Adam suddenly realised this might not be a conversation she wanted to have in the middle of the emergency department.

Adam grabbed her right wrist and pulled her into an empty cubicle, pulling the curtain closed.

"What going on Kirsty?" He asked seriously "Please talk to me."

Kirsty didn't really know what to say. The words clung to the back of her throat. Instead she pulled off her scrubs top and the long sleeved white t-shirt from underneath and turned so Adam could see the blistering.

"Please tell me he didn't do that to you."

She remained silent.

Adam stepped forwards and began to examine the bubbling skin.

"Some of this is second degree." He commented

Stepping back and examining her whole torso he was shocked to see purple bruising across her right side and across her back.

She was still silent.

"When did this happen?"

"Saturday morning." She finally broke the silence she had kept since they stepped into the cubicle.

"You should have come in sooner!" Adam said a hint of anger in his voice and more tears trickled down Kirsty's face "I'm sorry I didn't mean that to sound so harsh" Adam said suddenly realising the effect the angry words had had. "But this is some serious burning."

"I know but I couldn't. He took the phone. I couldn't drive. I felt too ill and tired to do anything other than sleep" She admitted looking down at her feet.

"This is serious Kirsty!" Adam said sadly, he handed her a gown and turned his back whilst she took off her bra and slipped into it so he could begin attending to the injuries.

"Done." She commented and he turned around pulling out some burn cream from the draws and began applying it to the blisters.

He worked in silence. Kirsty guessed he was planning what to say after he had finished treating the wounds. She slipped the gown off her shoulder whilst he finished applying the cream and then began applying bandages.

He turned so Kirsty to get dressed again and she obliged slipping her tops back on and zipping up her scrubs.

"Done." She muttered knowing that the questions were coming.

"So" Adam said as he finished "Now are you going to tell me what is going on?"

Kirsty swallowed nervously looking up at Adam.

"It's not his fault..." she started

"He has been hurting you hasn't he?" Adam stated simply "If he hasn't where did the burns come from?"

She nodded and Adam raised a hand, running it through his hair.

"What happened?" He asked gesturing towards her left side.

"He poured boiling hot water over me." Kirsty admitted.

"You said it's not his fault, How is that not his fault?" Adam letting the anger enter his voice. "Seems pretty deliberate to me!"

"It's not that simple..." She tried to explain

"Kirsty don't make excuses for him! This is abuse..." Adam started but Kirsty interrupted him.

"He does it because he's frustrated." Kirsty said simply "He's got post traumatic stress disorder and sometimes when he gets frustrated with his condition he can't control himself and he lashes out." She tried to explain to Adam.

"It's not an excuse for hurting you!" Adam shook his head "Certainly not for hurting you this badly."

"You don't understand..." Kirsty tried again, desperately trying to justify Warren's behaviour.

Adam was right to an extent wasn't he? Kirsty suddenly found herself realising, there was only so far Warren's behaviour could be called 'lashing out'. Had he crossed the boundary of frustration and deliberate?

"Explain it to me then."Adam said sitting down on the bed next to her.

"He used to be a fireman, he was on a call, at a school and he insisted two of them went into save two trapped children and the building began to collapse around them. He watched his colleague and the child he was helping die in front of his eyes. He escaped with some burns on his arms and a badly burnt leg but that's about it. He didn't speak for months, kept having nightmares, he now won't talk about the accident except when he's having or just had a nightmare and he lashes out of fear and frustration. He's still got some problems with the more severe burns on his leg, even his mobility is limited at times." Kirsty burst out trying to explain the situation to Adam. "I think he needs to be re-assessed because he's getting angrier and the anti depressants and the sleeping tablets don't always work anymore, I know he shouldn't be this violent but he wont go back to the doctors."

"Are you really sure he does it because of his condition and because he is frustrated?" Adam asked the exact question that had begun to play on Kirsty's own mind more recently.

"Sometimes I know it is. Sometimes... I'm not so sure." She admitted. "He scares me sometimes." She added. "I don't know when he will get angry next, sometimes he lashes out of pure frustration and sometimes it's totally illogical like because I'm half an hour late home and... he's convinced him having an affair..."

"He may be doing it out of frustration sometimes but there's a limit to what is frustration and what is not. He's putting you in danger." Adam tried to convince her "Nita too..."

"He's never hurt Nita." Kirsty interrupted simply

"If it is out of frustration, how can you guarantee that he won't turn on Nita too?" Adam asked suddenly

"He wont." Kirsty muttered starting to worry "Will he?"

"He might not but he could." Adam sighed truthfully "Kirsty you can't just sit there and put up with him hurting you."

"But I can't leave him even if I want to." Kirsty admitted "I haven't loved him for two years." She added with a sigh "Even before the accident things were getting tough, we've been together so long and it was finally reaching a stage where Nita was the only things we had in common."

"Can you not talk...?" Adam suggested

Kirsty shook her head

"Talking most of the time leads to this." She said simply "And anyway he needs me and I do care about him as a friend I think if I was to leave it might make things worse right now."

"But he doesn't care about you! If he did then he would go back to the doctors and get re-assessed." Adam pointed out

"He doesn't like to admit there is anything wrong." Kirsty told Adam simply

"But he doesn't care if he hurts you, does he ever regret hurting you?" Adam quizzed her

Kirsty paused trying to think of when Warren had shown regret for his actions. The answer was rarely.

"Occasionally." She mumbled avoiding his eyes.

"I can see why it's not as simple as just leaving him but Kirsty, he needs help and if you're not happy and he's hurting you then you need to leave him. No matter how hard it is." Adam said reaching down and grasping her hand tightly "I'll help you however I can."

Suddenly the curtain whipped open and Big Mac appeared pushing a patient. Adam stood up straight and removed his hand from Kirsty's as Big Mac stopped dead looking between Adam and Kirsty who was still sat on the bed looking tearful.

"Not interrupting anything am I?" He asked as he pushed the patient in "I was told this cubicle was empty."

"It's fine." Adam said looking away from Kirsty "I'm just heading back to resus, Kirsty will help you."

Kirsty stood up and smiled slightly as Adam left giving her a look which clearly said we will talk later.

"Let's get you on the bed" She said to the patient with a small sigh avoiding Big Mac's eye. She was glad Adam now knew about Warren, she was just beginning to worry if he would keep the information to himself or not and what would happen next.


	14. Helping Hand

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 14 – Helping Hand**

The shift had been a long and painful one for Kirsty, as much as she tried to ignore the occasional throbs from beneath the bandages on her left side it was difficult.

She had just settled down with coffee in the staffroom when Adam entered, he spotted her and immediately headed in her direction. She placed the cup on her knee, hands still tightly clasped around it feeling quite fragile, her Holby emergency department hoody hanging off her shoulders. Jay was bustling about the sink behind her and Lenny was getting something out of his locker.

"Can I see you in my office once your shift is over?" Adam asked as he approached.

"I can't" She looked up into Adams eyes, if she stayed late it might make Warren angry.

"Kirsty you can't avoid talking to me." Adam sighed taking her refusal as an unwillingness to talk.

"I'll talk to you in your office now then. I can't stay after work Adam if I'm back late..." She trailed off looking at Lenny who was replacing his stethoscope around his neck.

"Ok, come on." Adam gestured towards the door

"Someone's in trouble!" Jay commented from the sink

"Not as much as you will be in if Tess catches you on your sixth coffee break of the day!" Kirsty retorted

"Point taken." Jay joked "Let's hope she doesn't" Kirsty offered him a weak smile as she followed Adam from the room.

He shut the door and clicked the lock behind Kirsty as she entered his office and swivelled the blinds closed.

"Privacy." Adam nodded "Sit down if you want"

She obliged and settled herself in the seat opposite his desk curiously looking at the picture of a small boy.

"You have a son?"

"Had." Adam said bluntly "He died last year."

"Oh I'm sorry..." Kirsty began to apologise

"Its ok, you weren't to know" Adam smiled slightly "I want to talk about what you're going to do." He added sitting down behind his desk

"About what?" Kirsty asked knowing he mean Warren.

"Kirsty you need help!" Adam said simply

"I don't." She mumbled uncertainly

"Well you at least need to stop hiding Warren's condition, you need to tell Tess." Adam suggested sensibly

"I can't talk to Tess..." Kirsty jumped in

"You need to Kirsty, she needs to know what is going on and I think you'll find she'll be a lot more understand if she knows the truth!" Adam pointed out

"But this." Kirsty gestured at her left side

"I didn't mean about that, you don't have to go into that much detail, but you need to tell her about Warren's condition." Adam said sensibly "If you tell her then she can make allowances, you'll be less likely to lose your job over something as silly as arriving late if she knows why you are arriving late in the first place!"

"I guess you have a point." Kirsty sighed "I don't want to admit that caring for him is sort of beating me..."

"It sounds like it would be easier if he would go to a doctor and get reassessed." Adam said simply "I think the other thing you need to do is sit down and talk to him, make him realise that he needs help for your sake and for Nita's sake."

"I'm scared of talking to him Adam, he's not very logical at times..." She mumbled her cheeks tinted red as she admitted her fear

"I'll think of something." Adam said simply "How about you talk to Tess now, Before your shift ends."

"What if she thinks I'm lying or fires me..." Kirsty worried aloud

"Then I will talk to her." Adam said simply "Don't worry it'll be fine, she knows there's something not quite right to be honest I think she'll be more glad that you've finally be honest with her than anything."

"I guess." Kirsty nodded

"Come on lets do it now, before you can back out." Adam said standing up

"I won't back out..." Kirsty said looking up at him

"Well do it now and prove it to me." Adam said offering her a hand "I'll come with you and if you want to talk after grab me between patients yeah?"

"Yeah." She agreed accepting his hand "Thanks Adam."

"No problem" He smiled slightly "I'm your friend and you needed help, this what friends are for. Come on."

She slipped her hand out of his as they reached the door and Adam followed her to find Tess who was lurking around cubicles her eyes fixed on Jay.

"Tess, can I have a word?" Kirsty spoke up nervously as the older woman turned to face her "In private." She added as Adam busied himself with a patients file.

"Of course" Tess said looking Kirsty up and down before leading the way to her office. Kirsty raised her eyebrows at Adam and followed her.

"So?" Tess asked as she shut the door behind Kirsty

"There's something I need to tell you." Kirsty looked at her feet "Its about why I am already late, I tried to hide it but its getting out of control."

Tess looked slightly concerned as Kirsty shuffled her feet.

"What wrong Kirsty?" She asked her voice slightly softer than the usual strict tone Kirsty was used to

"My husband has post traumatic stress disorder." She explained blushed slightly "I am his carer, I have to look after him and my thirteen year old daughter Nita." She admitted "Sometimes he can't do things by himself and sometimes he will get so depressed I'm scared to leave him alone."

"I see. Kirsty why didn't you tell me about this when you started working here?" Tess asked a hint of anger in her voice

"I wanted to keep the two things separate" Kirsty couldn't help but let a few tears fall "I'm sorry Tess."

"It's ok." Tess comforted her gently "If I had known I would have tried to help you, trying to sort out days or shifts that were easiest for you to work, I could have made exceptions for being late on the odd occasion too."

"It's so hard, he won't go and be reassessed but his condition is much worse than it was six months ago." Kirsty admitted as tears trickled down her face "He's becoming more reliant on me and he gets angry if I'm back late especially if he needs help."

"Hey it's ok." Tess replied softly "We can sort it out, don't worry, maybe a few less shifts for a bit?" Kirsty nodded "You should really try and get him reassessed, you're a good nurse if you think he needs reassessing then I believe you are probably right."

Kirsty nodded

"Go and get a drink and take a break to compose yourself and we shall have another chat tomorrow and see if we can't make this as easy as possible ok?"

"Ok." Kirsty agreed "Thanks Tess, I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth at the beginning"

"Don't worry." Tess nodded "Sometimes these things are hard to talk about let alone to your boss."

"Yeah." Kirsty nodded "Very hard."

She slipped out of the office and headed towards the staffroom where a curious Adam followed her

"And?" He asked as he entered the staffroom

"She was ok about it." Kirsty said dabbing at her eyes with her sleeve

"See." Adam smiled walking over and pulling her into a gentle hug aware of the blistered skin beneath her scrubs.

Kirsty couldn't help but let the tears fall as he hugged her, all the pent up emotions flooding out.

"It'll all be ok, it might take time but it will." Adam told her caringly. "I promise."


	15. Conversations

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 15 - Conversations**

Kirsty had to admit that telling Tess about Warren's condition had been the best thing she could have done. The older nurse was much more sympathetic, although she preferred Kirsty to be on time she accepted when she couldn't be with questions about how Warren was doing and how she was feeling rather than angry threats of losing her job.

It had been a week since she had broken down in front of Adam. Part of her regretted talking to him but a bigger part was secretly glad to have shared her problems.

It was his looks of worry that got her and the daily questions "How are you?" "Are you ok?" "How are things?" subtle greetings but she knew he was trying to check up on her. She was so glad he cared but she also felt uneasy, like he knew too much, so every day she would reply yes, be it the truth to not. However it was obvious when Adam believed her replies and when he didn't, his face would crumple into a worried look, his face sincere.

She had been actively avoiding him. It was just so much harder to face him now he knew everything. It wasn't until she found herself being dragged into the empty peads resus.

"How are the burns?" Adam asked simply as the door closed behind them

"There ok." Kirsty replied "Healing as well as can be expected." Her eyes flicked towards the door, clearly uncomfortable to be in his presence. It wasn't like Warren had been violent since Adam had found out, in fact the opposite was true. Maybe she had no right to make such a dramatic point out of it in the first place, maybe she was the reason Warren lashed out? She did keep provoking him after all.

"Do you want me to check them over again?"

Kirsty sighed and nodded, they had started to ooze and she knew she needed his professional opinion once more especially as she couldn't see half of them.

Adam shut the blinds and Kirsty removed her tops placing them next to her on the bed and looking at her feet as she kicked at thin air. Adam approached and began examining the wounds, applying some cream and changing the bandages in silence sensing her embarrassment.

"Keep them clean and keep changing the bandages, its going to take a bit of time until they are completely healed." He told her as she pulled on her white t-shirt.

"Have you thought more about talking to Warren?" Adam asked as she fumbled with her scrubs top.

"I think about it every day." Kirsty admitted "But I don't want to... its hard..." She trailed off looking firmly at the floor and anywhere but into Adam's eyes as she pulled the top over her head.

"Look you think it's down to his medication and you think he needs more help right?"

She nodded apprehensively as she zipped up her top and replaced her stethoscope around her neck.

"Then it's for his good that you try to talk to him!" Adam pointed out

"Its not that simple though is it?" Kirsty said looking up at him "What if he flies off the handle... what if he attacks me... what if he hurts Nita?"

"Well keep your phone on you and you can ring me if there is the slightest hint of trouble." Adam offered "Kirsty you've changed, you look so... sad." He added Kirsty looked up into his eyes and saw genuine tears beginning to well up. "It needs to be sorted out somehow be it just by getting him help or by leaving him."

"I know." She mumbled "I don't enjoy this... Work is the highlight of my day... working with you..." She choked up, tears trickling from her eyes even though she was desperately trying to stop them

Adam stepped up wrapping his arms around her and held her as she sobbed quietly.

"I'll be there don't worry." Adam said simply as the sobs began to slow.

"You can't." Kirsty mumbled into his top before fighting to free herself from the hug.

"Maybe not physically but I will be on the end of the phone." Adam responded as he realised her

"What if he takes my phone?" Kirsty pointed out "He's done it before, he's smashed all the phones in the house."

"Well If I don't hear from you I will come over and check everything is ok in person." Adam suggested "This is something you need to face alone but that doesn't mean there can't be an army behind you."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Kirsty asked suddenly

"Because you're my friend Kirsty and I care." Adam responded simply.

"Thanks." She stood up and shuffled her feet

"No problem." Adam nodded "You are going to talk to him tonight then?"

"I don't know..." Kirsty bit her lip "I'm scared."

"I know you are." Adam nodded "I don't blame you but just say yes, bit the bullet Kirsty the sooner it's done the sooner its over." Adam pointed out sensibly

"Ok yes." Kirsty nodded taking a deep breath "Straight after I get home."

"You can do it." Adam reassured her

"We'll see." Kirsty said heading for the door and vanishing before Adam had chance to say anything else.

Adam watched her retreating back and sighed. She was such a strong person, coping with Warren and Nita but why did she have to be so stubborn.

-

Kirsty was actually nervous. She fumbled with the key and let herself into the house. Even after placing her address on a scrap of paper into Adam's hand and getting his reassurance that he would come around to her house if she had not contacted him by six o'clock she still felt un easy about this. She had confront Warren before things got any worse.

She was scared of him.

Her strong front was broken slightly, like someone had hit it with a hammer causing it to crack and splinter and the pure fear behind it to leak through the gaps.

She let herself and Nita into the house. Nita headed upstairs at Kirsty's request having told the teenager she wanted to talk about something important with her father, so to stay out of the way and get her home work done.

"Oh good your home."

Warren.

She spotted him sat at the kitchen table with an empty mug and tea bags scattered across the side..

"You want a cup of tea?" she asked trying to pretend there was nothing wrong.

"Yeah." Warren nodded

She immediately began bustling around the kitchen and preparing two cups of tea.

"Have you had a good day?" Kirsty asked simply as she placed the tea in front of Warren

"So so." Warren shrugged

"Sometimes I wonder..." Kirsty started "Warren your in pain I can see that." She stated simply

"Of course I'm in pain." Warren snapped before taking a long drink on his cup of tea

"Not just physically, those nightmares seems to be getting worse..." She added taking a seat at the table opposite him, bringing herself down to his level.  
"They aren't worse." Warren lied.

"You wake up screaming so many more times now than you did a few months ago." Kirsty pointed out simply "Warren I think things are getting worse... I think you need to get some help."

The pain in Warrens leg was suddenly forgotten as he stood up flipping the table over sending Kirsty flying backwards off her chair.

"I don't need help!"

-

Adam was sat in the front seat of his car, fiddling with his car keys and the piece of paper Kirsty had given him with her address on. He had promised to go over at six o'clock if he had heard nothing from her but it was only five o'clock and he was already parked up on her street looking at the door baring the number 42, Kirsty's house.

He was currently debating moving to sit on her door step so he could sneakily listen in, to see if he could hear anything happening in the house. He was worried about Kirsty, he had no idea why he felt so strongly about the curly haired nurse, maybe it was the vulnerability he had seen when she had broken down in front of him, maybe it was the anger he felt towards Warren for hurting her, who could hurt Kirsty even under the pretence of it not being on purpose? She was such a lovely person and a brilliant nurse and member of the team.

In a split second he made a decision and threw himself out of the car and walked the short distance up the road. It was ten past five. He walked up to the door, raised his fist to knock and then paused, his fist centimetres from the door, he had to let her try and talk to Warren first. He dropped his hand to his side and then slumped down on the top step listening hard for any sign of a disturbance.

He didn't have to wait long. A loud bang, a muffled scream. He couldn't even bare to risk that scream not coming from Kirsty's house he stood up, if he didn't try to help he would indirectly be hurting her and he couldn't bare that.

"Kirsty? Its Adam!" He hammered loudly on the door, the banging was getting louder and a male voice could be heard yelling through the solid wooden door.

He wasn't going to stop to let Kirsty let him in. Adam suddenly realised, He was all for preparing to knock the door down when the lock clicked and the face of a small girl he instantly recognised as Nita appeared.

"Doctor Trueman?" She asked nervously "Help." She added with a small nervous whimper.


	16. Intervention

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 16 – Intervention **

Nita stepped back and let Adam into her house pointing a shaking hand in the direction of the kitchen door.

Adam hurried past her and stepped up to the wooden door nervously unsure what he might find hidden behind it. He glanced over his shoulder to see Nita looking nervous, she looked a lot like her mother. He took a deep breath, turned the handle and stepped into the room.

He looked around himself, the table was lying on its side, he spotted Kirsty cowering in a corner with Warren was towering over her his fist wrapped tightly around her arm. The sudden noise of the door opening distracted Warren and he turned to face Adam still poised ready to strike.

Kirsty looked past Warren her eyes were full of fear. She was always so strong she almost looked like a completely different person cowering in the corner.

"I think you better let go of her." He said simply as his eyes met Warren's.

"Go away." Warren shot back

"No." Adam stood his ground as Warren let go of Kirsty who was now sobbing silently and turned on Adam

"What are you doing here?" He asked Adam looking him up and down

"Kirsty asked me for a professional opinion at work today. I thought I would come over and see if I could be of any assistance." Adam lied as he tried to justify his presence and explain to the angry man his interest.

"And what did she say?" Warren asked his voice rough, he looked back over his shoulder at Kirsty who seemed to wince at his look.

"That she was worried about you." Adam told him simply "That she thinks your medication isn't working properly and you need to go to the doctor but you are refusing to go."

"Well I don't need any doctors." Warren replied simply "Everything is under control."

"I don't see any form of control here." Adam replied bluntly "Well maybe the control you get by making your wife and daughter afraid of you."

"Get out." Warren hissed Kirsty was shaking her head her eys pleading Adam to get out before Warren hurt him but Adam stood his ground.

"Warren I know only what Kirsty has told me about you and your condition and if you won't listen to her then maybe you'll listen to me." Adam told him bluntly as Warren limped towards him. "Admitting that things are getting worse is not a weakness. Asking for reassessment would help both you and your family."

"I'm not seeing any more doctors." Warren stated simply

"Look at Kirsty and look at Nita." Adam replied "Look at what you are doing to them." He took a stab at using Warren's family to try and get through to him.

Warren stepped back his breathing calmed slightly and he studied Adam from head to toe before looking back over his shoulder at the sobbing Kirsty and behind Adam to Nita who was cowering in the door way looking petrified.

"You are hurting them." Adam started "Nita is terrified, look." He gestured towards the door. Warrens expression softened "You think you don't need reassessment, you think things are fine as they are and you don't want to see anymore doctors but have you considered what this might be doing to them?"

He could see Warren's expression fading from anger to worry.

"I'm not here to attack you or go against you Warren I am here to help you get help before things get worse." Adam told him.

Kirsty was starting to look relieved as Warren looked down to the floor and Adam released a breath he didn't realise he had been holding in.

Warren slumped down on a chair and Kirsty raised herself to her feet, slowly and quietly. Nita was still watching the scene from behind the door.

"I don't mean it." Warren muttered biting his lip.

"If you don't mean it and you want the best for your family you will go and get reassessed." Adam told him simply "No one will think any less of you and you will be better faster isn't that what you want?"

Warren nodded.

"Kirsty's a pretty good nurse, she's only trying to help you and lashing out at her is not going to help anyone."

"You're going to report me." Warren's head snapped up

"No I am not." Adam shook his head "Mind you if you don't get help and Kirsty turns up at work with more bruises I'm going to have to share my concerns."

"Please don't" Warren was almost child-like as he pleaded with Adam

"It's as simple as getting reassessed." Kirsty said nervously stepping forwards "Warren I want you to be ok and right now you are far from ok."

"Please dad." Nita appeared stepping into the room "Do what Doctor Trueman says."

Warren took one look into Nita's eyes and he melted. His daughter the one thing he really cared about above all else.

"Ok. I will."


	17. Crashing Down

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 17 – Crashing Down**

Kirsty was scared that Adam's appearance would have resulted in a beating worse than many she had had before but he seemed to have knocked some sense into Warren who was now rather subdued and thoughtful, he had even apologised for his behaviour and promised Kirsty things would change.

Kirsty prepared herself for work the following day with very few words from her husband bar a thank you as she provided him with the medication he was currently on and a cup of tea.

She headed to the department feeling slightly relieved, both to be out of the house and to know Warren was going to get some help.

Adam wasn't at work today he was on the night shift whilst she was on the day. She missed him a little more than she'd like to admit as she assisted Ruth in resus. She wanted to go tell him about Warren being ok and booking an appointment. Not that he'd care, she thought to herself as she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket. Glancing up at Ruth she muttered something about a coffee break and left resus knowing that Ruth would not approve of her answering her phone in resus but knowing it was probably Warren sending her a message and that she should check it.

As she entered the staffroom she looked down at her phone and sighed. This was definitely too good to be true. She looked down at the handset expecting a message from Warren but she was pleasantly surprised to see the buzzing had been caused by a message from Adam. She immediately opened it her heart pounding excitedly in her chest.

'Hope everything is ok today, give me a ring if you need anything. Adam x'

It was sweet of him to make sure she was ok. She smiled. Adam was turning out to be something of a rock and she was so glad she had made such a good friend.

'Thanks for yesterday, I don't know what I'd have done without you. Kirsty x' She replied a little smile on her face. The simple text made her feel so much less alone with her problems at home.

She made herself a cup of coffee unable to wipe the small smile from her face.

-

The rest of the day passed un-eventually soon Kirsty was picking up Nita from school and they were driving home.

"We're home." Kirsty yelled in greeting as she let herself and Nita into the house. Nita immediately ran over and gave her Dad a hug as he appeared from the living room. Kirsty looked up into Warren's eyes. She still felt decidedly uneasy after Adam's visit the night before but Warren had been calm since Adam had left. Even with his promises of changed behaviour she still felt like a bit of a dream and she was still looking for proof that his behaviour was changed.

"I've booked an appointment for the doctors tomorrow." Warren informed her as Nita hurried off upstairs

"Good." Kirsty smiled feeling slightly relieved "I'm really glad you're going to get help."

"Me too." Warren offered her a weak smile.

Kirsty leant over and gave him an awkward hug and then lent back smiling slightly

"I'll put some tea on." She said simply "Do you want anything?"

"A cup of tea would be nice." Warren said following her towards the kitchen.

Kirsty felt a little uneasy at how calm he was but pleased that he was actually going to get some help.

She placed her bag and phone down on the table and began making a lasagne for tea. To her surprise Warren asked her about her day and told her calmly about the pain in his leg and taking a couple of extra paracetamol tablets. She hadn't actually had a conversation that hadn't escalated into shouting if not violence with her husband for a long time it was an unnerving but pleasant experience.

"I'm just going to get changed, do you need anything?" Kirsty asked as she shut the oven door with the lasagne inside.

"I'll be fine." Warren nodded

"Ok." Kirsty smiled kissed him on the cheek awkwardly and then left the room, hurrying upstairs to change.

She didn't take long to change into a shirt and jeans and came back downstairs.

"I was thinking maybe we could..." She started but upon seeing Warren's face, her bag which was now on the floor and the phone in his hand.

The text from Adam.

"What's this?" Warren asked as she stepped forwards.

Kirsty took in Warren's hunched up shoulders and something immediately felt wrong. Her heart started to pound in her chest.

"What is what?" Kirsty asked nervously pretending she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Texts." Warren said simply standing up and stepping closer "Texts to and from him."

"Adam?" Kirsty raised an eyebrow slightly playing it off innocently, after all the texts had been between friends and nothing more "He's been a really good friend recently." She told Warren truthfully.

"A really good friend huh?" Warren grabbed her arm and thrust the phone in front of her eyes "Thanks for yesterday?"

"That was for talking to you..." Kirsty tried to point out as her heart pounded in her chest.

"I don't know what I'd have done without you?" Warren asked anger building in his voice

"I was at breaking point Warren you know I was he helped me"

"You're seeing him behind my back!" Warren accused her suddenly "You're having an affair and you and your boyfriend are sending me to the doctor to get me out of the way!" He threw the phone across the room and it broke apart into several little pieces.

Kirsty's chest tightened and her breathing sped up as fear flooded every inch of her body.

"Warren I'm not..." She told him honestly as his first met her stomach making her yelp in pain.

"You lying, selfish bitch!" Warren yelled "Your trying to palm me off on the doctor so that you can leave with him!"

"I'm not!" Kirsty tried to protest as his fist met her face. She stood there and took the beating too tired to fight back.

"That's why he came around here isn't it?" Warren yelled "He persuaded me to get help so you could leave me!"

"He didn't" Kirsty winced as he pushed her against the side. "He was just being a good friend!"

"That looked a lot more than a good friend!" Warren told her angrily

"It wasn't I love you Warren not him." Kirsty tried to reassure him her voice shaking

"Liar!" Warren yelled

"I'm not lying I promise!" Kirsty begged

"Yeah right." Warren shook his head "you're having an affair!"

"I am not!" Kirsty snapped back desperate for Warren to believe her.

He paused breathing deeply his eyes falling on the counter next to her as Kirsty let the silent tears fall from her face.

"If I can't have you he can't either." Warren hissed suddenly.

Warren reached across to the side and Kirsty's eyes filled with fear as she realised what he was doing.

"Warren, please don't." She started as his eyes met hers "Please calm down. I am your wife Adam means nothing to me at all honestly..." She tried to reassure him but it was too late the knife was in his hand. A sharp pain dug through her side and a scream fell from her lips.


	18. Not an option

Disclaimer – I sadly do not own Casualty or any of the characters!

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 18 – Not an option**

A scream pierced the air.

Nita spun round and froze unsure of what could have happened, what that scream could mean.

There was a muffled bang and footsteps coming up the stairs.

Nita suddenly realised she was shaking with fear. Should she go out and see what was going on?

It sounded like someone was routing around the bathroom.

Maybe they were sorting out whatever was going off? She listened intently hoping that she wouldn't have to go out and face whatever was happening.

There was another bang.

She sighed. Putting her pen down onto of her textbook and stepping out into the corridor.

Silence.

The silence unnerved Nita. The house was rarely silent. She headed towards her parent bedroom where the last bang had seemed to have come from.

"Mum?"

No reply.

"Dad?"

No reply.

Nita pushed the door open. The bedroom was empty but several of the draws had been dug through, their contents lying all over the floor.

She stepped towards the en-suite bathroom.

Nervously she pushed the door open and took in the sight in front of her.

"Dad!" She yelled falling to her knees next to her dads passed out form. His skin was pale and several empty packets of tablets were lying around him. She reached over placing a hand on his clammy forehead hoping he might move to shake her hand off but he didn't respond. Jumping ot her feet Nita ran downstairs.

"Mum!" Nita screamed as she jumped the last two steps and pushed open the kitchen doors "Mum!" As she stepped into the kitchen she stopped dead and screamed.

Kirsty was on the floor. Blood pouring from her side, she was barely conscious.

Nita froze for a moment panic stricken.

She had to call an ambulance.

She grabbed the house phone from the side, her eyes still glued to the puddle of blood now surrounding her mother on the floor.

"I need an ambulance." She said panicking "Two ambulances, I don't know what happened, Mums bleeding and dad is unconscious."

-

Adam drained his can of coke as a worried Tess hurried over.

"Adam we've got incoming..." She started

"I'll be right over." Adam sighed the night shift had barely begun yet it had already been quiet hectic.

"It's Kirsty." Tess admitted as he put his can down on the side.

"It's... what?" Adam said disbelief in his voice his heart pounded and he suddenly felt like his throat was closing, Kirsty had said things were ok...

"Kirsty and her husband." Tess told Adam as he stepped forwards "We've got no idea what's gone off but she's been stabbed and he appears to have taken an overdose..."

Adam felt sick. I imagined all the various scenarios of what could have happened in the house. He was 99% sure Warren could have stabbed Kirsty, the only logical theory he could come up with was that he had regretted what he had done and taken the overdose.

"Kirsty's daughter is coming in with her and Dixie and Jeff." Tess told Adam as they walked towards the door "Poor girl is very shaken."

"You take care of her I will sort out resus." Adam said her voice shaky

"It's Kirsty... Adam you're shaking... Will you be ok..." Tess asked as the doors banged open and the first stretcher was wheeled through

"I will be fine." Adam reassured her

'I have to do something.' He told himself as he jumped forward to take over her care

"What have we got?" He asked Jeff who immediately began reeling off Kirsty's details.

He glanced over at Nita who was sobbing silently as Tess tried to pry her from Dixie who was holding her hand and then down at Kirsty as they left Nita behind and headed into resus, she looked so fragile, how could anyone have hurt her like this?

Adam shook his head, he had to focus. He had to help.

The resus door banged over as they moved Kirsty over onto the bed.

In came the second stretcher with Warren, Zoe at the side of the bed, they exchanged a nod as she started working on Warren who seemed to be coming around slightly.

Adam turned back to Kirsty and the kitchen knife sticking out ominously from her side.

"Right I want ABC's U's and E's and a scan we need to see what damage has been caused." He told the concerned looking collection of emergency department staff. "Let's do this guys, Losing her is not an option."


	19. Aftermath

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 19 - Aftermath**

Never had Adam been so relieved to be sending a stable patient up to ICU.

It had been touch and go, the scan revealed the knife was in pretty deep, narrowly missing her lung.

She had crashed as they had removed it and for a horrible moment Adam thought he had failed her, that she was dying in front of him.

"Please Kirsty, you've got to fight." He had pleaded with her almost life less form.

With a couple of shocks she was back, blood was being pumped through her body to replace the blood she had lost and with a little impromptu emergency surgery Adam had fixed the torn arteries inside her stomach.

It was complicated and it was still touch and go. Adam headed over to the other bed in resus as Kirsty was wheeled up to ICU.

"How is he?" Adam was unable to keep a hint of distaste from his voice as he looked down at Warren's pale face.

"Stable, he doesn't appear to have taken a lot and it didn't seem planned. HE was regaining consciousness but he's passed out again now, we were able to pump his stomach and administer the paracetemol antidote." Zoe told Adam "What do you think happened?" she asked pulling Adam slightly to the side.

"I reckon he stabbed her." Adam said bluntly "Probably then regretted it and then tried to overdose."

"Why would he stab her though?" Zoe looked confused "He's her husband..."

Adam paused unsure if he should share Kirsty's secrets with Zoe. He decided to put it simply.

"Because he's hurt her before." Adam told her simply

Zoe looked shocked at the confession and Adam turned to leave before she could ask anymore.

"Adam someone should go and talk to their daughter..." Zoe shouted after him.

"I'll do it." Adam responded simply not turning back to face Zoe who watched him sadly. HE was obviously upset but he was trying not to let it show. He was probably the closest to Kirsty in the department and therefore likely to be the one most effected.

He stood at the relative room's door and peered through at Tess and the stubborn thirteen year old sat on the other end of the sofa refusing to talk or look at the older nurse. He was trying to put the words together in his mind but he just couldn't.

Taking a deep breath he let himself into the room and Nita's eyes immediately snapped up to meet his. She looked so much like Kirsty right down to the determined expression on her face and Adam had to bite back tears as their eyes met.

"They are both stable." He announced simply

"Good." Tess said breathing a sigh of relief "Are you ok to sit with Nita for awhile?" Tess asked standing up and shuffling her feet slightly "I should go and check on the team..."

"Yeah that's fine." Adam nodded moving over to the sofa and sitting down next to Nita as Tess left the room.

She didn't move away, knowing that her Mum trusted the older doctor meant that she trusted him too. Well sort of. He had pretended to help their family and now both her parents were in hospital. Rage filled Nita and she examined the doctor sat next to her, her eyes flew up to meet his.

"I thought everything was going to be ok." She told Adam as he clasped his hands together awkwardly and watched her.

"It will be." Adam tried to reassure her

"He stabbed her!" Nita burst out standing up before breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Hey, it will be ok." Adam stood up and wrapped his arms instinctively around the small girl "Kirs..." He started before realising who he was talking to "Your mum is in good hands, she will be fine and they will take a good look at your dad and help him now." Adam explained awkwardly

She sobbed into his chest for a little wise before she pulled away desperately trying to dry her eyes on her sleeves as she looked up into his eyes.

"What about me." He voice was quiet. "What if they..."

"They will both be fine." Adam reassured her "I'm sure you can go stay with a relative..."

"My grandparents don't live around her and Mum doesn't talk to her brother." Nita admitted "Will I go into care?" she asked looking him directly in the eye. If a relative wasn't available then Adam had to be honest it was a possibility.

"No, you can stay with me until your Mum is better." He blurted out

"Really?" Nita asked

"Yeah, really." He nodded. He had a feeling he would regret those words later on but he felt like he had to offer the small girl something and help Kirsty in anyway he could.

"Thank you Doctor Trueman." Nita said breaking him from his thoughts.

"Call me Adam." Adam replied nervously.

Bad or good idea? Whichever it was he had signed himself up to look after the thirteen year old until one of her parent's was able to, what had he done?


	20. The House Guest

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 20 – The House Guest**

Adam unlocked the door and pushed open the door to his house allowing the thirteen year old girl to step inside looking around herself nervously.

"It's big." She said glancing at the grand staircase in front of her.

Adam had moved out of his bachelor style flat back when he had been seeing Jessica and they had had Harry to look after and regular visits from Amelia and Lucas. The house was now quite empty without his old family and although he had gotten over the pain of losing Jess knowing she was alive and well and happier without him he still often longed to hear the screaming from the little upstairs bedroom which had been reserve for his son Harry. Having Nita here suddenly reminded him of the loss of his son and he had to choke back a few tears as she shut the door behind them.

"I'll show you the spare room and you can put your stuff down." He suggested pushing back the memories of his lost son and gesturing towards the stairs.

Nita nodded and followed him upstairs carrying her small suitcase.

Adam passed Harry's door and opened the one next to it which had often contained Amelia and Lucas but now was simply the home of two single beds and a few childish decorations.

Nita looked about herself taking in the surroundings she looked like she might be about to cry.

"Chin up." Adam told her gently spotting the tears welling up in her eyes "They will both be fine I promise."

Nita nodded

"I'll leave you to settle in and have a few minutes to yourself." Adam suggested awkwardly "How about I order us some take out for tea?"

"Mum only lets me have take out on special occasions." Nita mumbled looking up at Adam

"Well I think after today you deserve it." Adam told he r gently "I guess I better feed you properly whilst you are here or your Mum won't be impressed with me will she?" he joked slightly

Nita forced a small smile

"So what's your favourite Pizza or Chinese?" Adam asked

"Pizza" Nita smiled slightly looking up at Adam "Ham and Pineapple Pizza"

"Right, I'll let you to settle in and I shall go order us a large Ham and Pineapple Pizza!" Adam smiled slightly turning away and heading out of the room, her eyes reminded him of Kirsty, it was almost painful to look into them knowing Kirsty was attached to life support at this current moment in time "I'll be downstairs in the living room if you want me" he added simply "If you want something just yell ok?"

"Ok." She nodded "Thank you Adam."

"You don't have to thank me." Adam told her simply as he left.

Nita watched as Adam left and then glanced around the room nervously. She wondered for a second Adam had a room like this in his house. It was a little childish for a spare room. She wondered if he had children or if the room was used when his nieces and nephews visited. She put her suitcase at the end of one of the beds and sat down looking around her. She felt very out of place. It was like a sleepover without any friends. It was strange being in someone else's house, she trusted Adam because her Mum trusted him but she still wished she could be at home. She'd rather hear her Dad yelling at her Mum from downstairs and her Mum sobbing and begging him to stop than be sat here in the quiet.

She pulled her knees up to her chest. She wanted to believe Adam was right and her Mum and Dad would be fine but what if they weren't? The image of the knife hr my mothers lifeless side flashed across her mind and image of the pale clammy skin of her father filled her mind. She was not a baby she knew exactly what had gone off, she knew it was wrong and she knew that it was possible they would not be ok. She just hoped her Dad would get help and she hoped that soon her Mum would wake up and give her a hug and make everything better.

Adam dialled for a pizza and then flopped down on the sofa staring at the blank television screen. Could he had done anything? He had known about the beatings Kirsty received at the hands of her husband, he had even confronted him about them! Could he have saved her some how? Thoughts flashed though his mind, scenarios that would not have ended up with Kirsty in hospital hooked up to a life support machine. Instead of just confronting him could he have taken him into the emergency department and got him seen to immediately? Could he have taken Kirsty and Nita into his own house? Persuaded her to leave him? Was it his fault in anyway? He scanned his memories of the time between the confrontation and Kirsty being admitted to the emergency department, could he have contributed?

The creak of the living room door snapped Adam from his thoughts. Nita.

For a thirteen year old with both her parents in hospital she was coping extremely well but Adam had a feeling she was putting up a bit of a front just like her Mum did at work every day until she was in too much pain to do so anymore.

"Come sit down" Adam said turning to see the nervous looking teenager behind him. "The Pizza is on is way."

She settled herself on the end of her sofa and looked at him nervously.

"Are you ok?" Adam checked as she looked over at him

"Yeah, I just want Mum and Dad to be ok." She told him simply

"They will" Adam replied "Do you...want to talk about it?" he asked suddenly realising that taking the teenager in might mean needing to listen to the teenager's worries and fears not just to provide her with a safe place to stay.

Nita shook her head and turned to the blank television screen.

Adam sighed slightly, he had seen patients bottle things up he himself knew not talking sometimes made things feel less real. He was sure that it wouldn't be long until Nita needed a shoulder to cry on. She was putting up an extremely tough front at the moment however.

"Here you can pick something to watch" He handed her the remote, there was no point in forcing conversation, as long as she knew she could talk if she wanted. "I'll go get us some drinks, would you like a glass of orange juice?"

"Yes please." Nita nodded accepting the remote as Adam stood up and left the room, the television flickered to life behind him and he turned to see Nita hugging her knees to her chest. It had been one hell of a day for the teenager and for Adam also.

He put a call into the hospital as he waited for the kettle to boil. He wanted to keep Nita as up to date as possible on her parents and he himself wanted to check on Kirsty. He rung the emergency department and Noel informed him Kirsty was still in ITU and Warren was on the Psychiatric unit before putting him through to the nurse on Kirsty's ward who informed him Kirsty was still stable and on life support. He asked her to put him trough to the psychiatric unit and was surprised but pleased to hear Charlie's familiar voice on the other end of the phone informing him that Warren had woken but was still drowsy and could be visited by Nita in the morning if she wanted to see him.

The phone call was tiring tracing both Kirsty and Warren. As much as he wanted to ignore Warrens existence particularly after it was very likely he was the one that stabbed Kirsty Adam knew he had to keep Nita informed. He picked up the glasses and headed back through to the living room.

"I rung the hospital" He announced as he stepped into the room, Nita immediately turned to look at him. "There's been no change but your Mum is still stable." He explained, Nita breathed a small sigh of relief "Your Dad is awake but a little drowsy and I can take you to see him tomorrow if you want to go and see him."

"Yes please." Nita said keenly as the door bell rung.

"Ok, I will drive you to see him tomorrow then." Adam nodded "I believe that might be our Pizza."

He left the room and fetched the Pizza from the delivery boy.

"We get to eat in front of the television?" Nita asked as he returned

"I don't see why not, it's been a bit of a weird day." Adam said placing the Pizza on the coffee table "I'm not much of a role model am I?" He asked opening the box and taking a slice gesturing to Nita that she could too

"Mum would kill you." Nita reply simply with a small smile which faded fast as she remembered where her Mum was, she picked up the slice of pizza and fell quiet as she took a mouthful.

"I'm sure she will when she wakes up." Adam replied "She's going to be ok Nita." He stated, He couldn't be sure but he had to be positive.

"I know." Nita nodded "I will enjoy watching her tell you off when she is." She added with a small forced smile

"I'm sure you will." Adam nodded offering her a forced smile in return.

Adam had a feeling that the next few days were going to be some of the hardest in his life as he held together the pieces of Nita's life whilst he also worried about Kirsty.

She would get better... wouldn't she?


	21. Worries

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 21 – Worries **

Adam flicked through his paper absentmindedly. He had rung the emergency department and arranged to have the day off so he could take Nita to see her parents. He wasn't too sure about this being responsible and looking after someone else's daughter business. He didn't really do kids and he had no idea how to look after a teenager properly. He slightly regretting saying he would look after her. How was he supposed to come close to filling Kirsty and Warren's footsteps? He couldn't turn her away though, after all this was Kirsty's daughter, he reminded himself as he took a gulp of coffee from the mug lying on the table, he felt partially responsible for this mess, he should have taken the pair of them in or done something to help Kirsty escape the abuse before it went this far.

He choked back tears as he debated the ways he could have prevented Kirsty from being hurt for a moment feeling horribly responsible for the whole messy situation. There was nothing he could do now but wait and hope she was ok. He dabbed at a stray tear with the sleeve of his jumper. At least by looking after Nita he could repay Kirsty slightly for not being able to protect her and for not forcing Warren to get help right away. He turnedhis attention back to the news paper, he just had to keep his fingers crossed and keep strong for Kirsty and her teenager who had fallen into his care.

As he turned the page he heard the door creek open and looking up he spotted Nita standing nervously in the door way still dressed in her pyjamas.

"Do I have to go to school?" her voice was subdued

"No, not today." Adam placed the paper down on the table and looked over at her. "I thought you might like to take the day off to get your head around things and we can go see your parent's if you want to?"

"Yes please." Nita replied simply

"Would you like some breakfast?" He offered

Nita shook her head.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded but stepped forwards into the kitchen.

"Adam?"

"Yes Nita?"

"Why is my Dad so horrible?"

He hadn't really expected this question. He paused trying to find the write words to answer the teenager. Right now he had a lot of hate for Warren, he was convinced that it had been Warren that had stabbed Kirsty, but Nita was his daughter and Adam could not say exactly what he thought of the man without upsetting the already worried looking girl in front of him.

"Your Dad hasn't been very well, his condition causes him to lash out." Adam explained not enjoy defending Warren "I guess he is a volatile person anyway and if something upsets him he reacts to it. Although he has done some bad things he is not a completely bad person." Adam said simply before chancing a question wanting to know if Nita could confirm his fears "Do you know what happened yesterday?"

"There was a scream and Dad ran upstairs. He had stabbed her. When I went downstairs Mum was unconscious with a knife in her side and there was no one else there so it had to be him." Nita confessed "I know it was him." She added bluntly before looking up into Adam's eyes "Is it my fault? Do you think I could I have stopped him?"

"No, Nita this is not your fault at all!" Adam said shocked that the teenager was actually blaming herself "Not at all, your Mum will tell you that herself when she gets better." Adam reassured her. "There was no way you could have known what was happening or stopped him, Kirsty would not have wanted you to get hurt trying to stop him either."

Nita nodded and paused thoughtfully looking down at her feet and shuffling them nervously Adam watched unsure what to say next.

"Will I turn out like him? Will I hurt people too?" She asked her eyes snapping up to meet his as the thought crossed her mind.

"Of course not!" Adam immediately reassured her. The information from Nita sinking in, it was pretty obvious what had happened but without being there he couldn't have guaranteed that someone else hadn't been involved. "We all make choices in life Nita and your dad has made some bad ones letting his anger get the best of him. You will be your own person and you will not hurt people." Adam said calmly although inside he could feel the anger building at the mere thought of Warren hurting Kirsty.

"Do I have to hate him?" she asked sounding confused

"No Nita, he is your Dad no matter what." Adam reassured her "People make mistakes sometimes if they make a bad mistake you have a right to feel upset or hurt or angry but there is nothing that says you have to hate them."

"I love him but I don't love him when he hurts Mum and I don't like what he did." Nita explained

"That is understandable." Adam replied wisely

"Will he hurt me?" she added nervously

"From what I have seen and heard Nita he really cares about you so I don't think he would, your his daughter and that makes you special to him but I'll be honest, I'd never rule it out because he has lashed out before." Adam explained sensitively "Do you understand what I mean?"

"Yes." Nita nodded "I don't think he would hurt me."

"I don't think he would either." Adam said his voice wavering slightly, if Warren could hurt Kirsty so badly then he could easily hurt Nita but she wanted to believe the best in her Dad and he wasn't going to ruin that for her. "I'll tell you what, if you don't want breakfast why don't you go get ready and we'll go and see your parents?" Adam suggested

"Ok." Nita nodded "Thanks Adam."

"No problem." He replied as she turned and left the room

He watched her go. He was actually quite surprised he hadn't found himself comforting the girl as she cried. She was obviously as good at putting up a front as her mother. He had a feeling that she wouldn't be able to lock all her thoughts and worries down for long though and that they would eventual over spill.

But she had confirmed his thoughts. Warren had definitely attacked Kirsty.

He closed the paper and sat up.

He had to put on a strong front and take Nita to see her father. He personally had no intention of visiting Warren but Nita had every right too and Adam suspected she needed to. He did however feel the need to see Kirsty, who was still stable when he had called earlier in the morning. Nita had the right to see her mother too as, god forbid, it could be one of the last chances she would get.

He pushed that thought away and poured the rest of his coffee down the sink placing the mug on the counter and leaning on the edge of the sink and breathing deeply.

However much he hoped that it wouldn't be he half knew he had to accept the possibility.

"Ready."

He spun around to see Nita stood in the door fully dressed and ready to go, obviously keen to see her parents.

"That was super quick, lets get going." He said straightening up and offering Nita a forced smile. He couldn't let his thoughts show.

He suddenly realised why Kirsty was so good at playing pretend and hiding her problems, because of having to hide them from Nita. He picked up his keys from the side and led the way out of the house. Today was going to be a long day.


	22. Visiting Time

**Behind Closed Doors**

**Chapter 22 – Visiting Time **

Even though the hospital was familiar Adam found himself feeling particularly uncertain as he lead Nita from his executive parking space outside the emergency department towards the psych unit. It was not that he had never visited the psych ward before, it was more who they were visiting. Adam had no interest in talking to or seeing Warren right now. He was simply intending to drop Nita off and wait for her to visit her father.

"What ward is he on?" Nita asked breaking the silence between them

"It's a psychiatric unit." Adam explained "They are still deciding what treatment he needs"

"Because he had to be a bit crazy to stab Mum?" Nita asked bluntly

"Not crazy. Did your Mum explain what was wrong with your Dad?"

"She said he was sad because of the fire." Nita said wrinkling her face up slightly as she tried to pick out a term "It was last year. I think that's all she said"

Adam wasn't entirely sure whether Kirsty would want him to explain Warren's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to Nita but after what the teenager had experienced recently he felt she deserved to and was old enough to understand the truth.

"He was. There is a condition called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and that is what your Dad has. It makes him feel sad, worried and confused. It also makes him react differently to how he used to. This is why he lashes out as well." Adam explained

"I know he is not a bad person." Nita told Adam

As they approached the ward Adam felt Nita's hand slip into his. He looked down at her pale face. She was not crying or showing any signs of distress, she just seemed subdued and nervous.

"Are you sure you want to see him?" Adam double checked as he put his hand on the door ready to open it.

"Yes." Nita nodded "Of course I am!" She jutted her chin out determinedly looking just like Kirsty.

"Ok, I'm going to let you speak to him alone but I will wait on the ward, I don't think he will be too happy to see me." Adam admitted

"I don't think he will either." Nita agreed wisely

"If you want to leave at any time you yell up ok?"

"I will Adam." Nita nodded

Adam led the way into the ward.

"Well if it isn't Doctor Trueman!"

"Charlie!" Adam greeted the familiar old nurse with a smile, pleased he was on duty. "Nita this is Charlie he used to work with me and you your Mum in the emergency department. Charlie this is Nita, Kirsty's daughter."

"Nice to meet you Nita." Charlie nodded and Nita offered him a small nervous smile.

"I've brought her to see Warren. Though I will be staying out of the way and letting them have some time alone..." Adam explained

"Of course." Charlie nodded "Want to come with me Nita and I'll take you to see your Dad."

Nita looked up at Adam and he nodded that she should follow the wise old nurse. She did so Adam watched her go. Charlie soon returned.

"How's Kirsty doing?" He asked as he approached

"Still in ITU." Adam nodded sadly "That's our next stop."

"Ah." Charlie nodded directing Adam through to the staffroom where he promptly put the kettle on "The rumour is that he stabbed her."

"It was him." Adam shook his head slightly as Charlie poured them each a cup of coffee "He's been abusing her for awhile."

"Who'd have thought it hmm?" Charlie said offering Adam one of the cups which he gratefully accepted

"I could have stopped it." Adam admitted running his fingers over the handle of the mug and looking Charlie in the eye "I knew what was going on and a couple of days ago I confronted him and tried to persuade him to get help, which he agreed to but now I am wishing I had forced him into the emergency department right away, if I had done Kirsty would be fine..." Adam rambled

"It's not your fault Adam, you didn't know it would go this far." Charlie comforted him

"I just wish I had done something." Adam sighed

"Kirsty will be fine." Charlie reassured him "She's a fighter." He added wit ha small smile recalling the short time he had worked with the feisty nurse "And between us, Nurse to Doctor..." He winked "Warren is looking at being placed on a psychiatric unit for awhile." Charlie admitted "He isn't going to get out of her until he is mentally stable again. He had already had several outbursts, he has even broken a television."

"I won't pretend I like the guy." Adam sighed slightly "But I hope he gets better and this all gets sorted out somehow... for Nita's sake."

-

Nita approached her Dad nervously as Charlie left her at his bedside telling her to yell up if she needed them. She felt uncertain and unsure what he might say or do. He was looking out the window, as she approached he turned to see her and a large smile immediately flashed across his face and Nita breathed a sigh of relief. He looked dishevelled but with a smile on his face he looked a lot like the Dad she remembered.

"Nita!" He grinned pleased to see her

"Hi Dad." She replied cautiously as he opened his arms to try and encourage her to approach him.

She stepped forwards. Before yesterday she wouldn't have hesitated and just ran into his arms but right now she was feeling slightly scared of the man she had always looked up to and loved. She stepped forwards and let him wrap his arms around her and she returned his hug.

His hugs were still the same at least.

"I have missed you." Warren admitted holding her tightly

"I missed you too." She admitted nervously as they broke apart and Warren gestured for her to sit on the bed next to him. She settled down on the edge kicking at the air nervously.

"Where are you staying?"

"Doctor Trueman's." Nita confessed

"That interfering wife stealer..." Warren began before noticing the look on Nita's face

"He's been really nice actually Dad and he isn't stealing Mum, he just cares." Nita corrected him

Warren's face paled slightly. Nita fell silent.

"What's up Nita?" Warren asked placing his hand on her hand

She snatched it away and turned to stare at him.

"Why did you do that to Mum?" she snapped

"I..." Warren obviously did not expect this question from his daughter. He resembled a rabbit caught in a headlight

"Mum always tried to help you! I was wrong to stick up for you! What if she dies!" Nita worried out loud

"Nita, I didn't mean to..." Warren paled

"You stabbed her!" Nita said bluntly standing up

"Nita please I love you." Warren pleaded

"I love you Dad but I don't think you love Mum. You hurt her too much." Nita accused him as Warren began to sob

"I didn't mean it." Warren admitted between sobs "Will you forgive me?"

"Are you going to try and get better?" Nita asked determinedly

"For you." Warren looked up at her and Nita melted falling into his arms and letting her own tears fall "I will never let you down again sweet heart."

"I want everything to go back to normal." Nita told him "Before the fire."

"If I could turn back time Nita believe me I would." Warren confessed. "Me and your Mum are probably never going to be the same again."

"I don't think you are." Nita shrugged sadly "But you can't hurt her Dad, she does nothing wrong and you hurt her."

"I am such a bad person." Warren confessed

"You can stop being a bad person if you try Dad." Nita said sadly

Warren watched her carefully. Here was his own daughter putting him straight. What had he done? She was right about everything and he was hurting her. It was time to let the doctors help him and to try and scrape back together the pieces of his life.

"I will." Warren pulled her close "And everything will be ok."

"It will." Nita smiled kissing his cheek.

It was a tired, tearful looking Nita that rejoined Adam half an hour later.

"Are you ok?" he asked placing a hand on her shoulder as he nodded goodbye to Charlie

"Yes." Nita looked up at him "I think Dad regrets what he did."

"Good." Adam squeezed her shoulder "Are you sure you want to go and see your Mum today too?"

"I have to." Nita said bravely "I want to see her."

"Ok." Adam smiled

He led the way silently through the corridors towards ITU.

This ward was very different to the bustling Psych ward. There was no friendly face of a familiar nurse to greet them instead one of the nurses asked who they were upon entry and who they were hear to see directing them emotionlessly towards a bed in the far left corner of the ward. The ward was silent apart form the bleeping of the machines surrounding them.

It was Kirsty alright, her hair was messy but her skin was pale and she was hooked up to more drips and machines that Adam cared to count. He couldn't take his eyes off her until he realised Nita was grasping his hand for dear life. He looked down at the frightened thirteen year old.

"Its a lot less scary than it looks." He told her he pulled her forwards and slipped her hand from his and lent down to place it onto of Kirsty's "here."

"She looks like she is asleep." Nita admitted scanning her mother's steadily rising and falling chest and her closed eyes.

"She is, she is just resting and letting her body recover from the shock." Adam told Nita gently

"She will wake up though right?" Nita asked turning to face Adam

"I hope so." Adam agreed with a small not his own eyes fixed on Kirsty.

Nita nodded and squeezed Kirsty's hand.

"Hang in there Mum."

Adam had to bit back tears as he watched her lean down and gently place a kiss on her forehead.

"I am sorry that I ever told you off for being mean to Dad when really he was the one being mean to you." Nita admitted "I'm sorry for not always doing my homework when you tell me or tidying my room. When you wake up I will do everything you say. I promise."

"It'll all be ok." Adam told her and Nita turned to face him and nodded nervously before turning her attention back to her mother's lifeless form.

He couldn't help be touched by the scene in front of him. He just hoped for Nita's asked that in a few days Kirsty would be awake and able to tell her that everything would be ok in person.


	23. Its alright to cry

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 23 – It's alright to cry. **

Adam opened the oven and checked the chicken he had put in. I had been a long day, it was surprising how much hospital visiting could take out of you, he hoped that this would be the first of not many visits and that Kirsty would be better soon but who knew when she would wake up, if she did.

'Don't think like that!' he scaled himself as he checked the potatoes and vegetables boiling away on the top of the oven.

Nita had headed upstairs after they had returned, he guessed the teenager had wanted space to think as she excused herself. She had barely spoken since they left Kirsty's side. He wasn't sure what to do or say for the best so he decided to let her have time to think. He plated up the vegetables and potatoes, he hadn't cooked so healthily since Jess had left, microwave meals and dinners in restaurants had been his choice for most meals but he felt responsible for Nita right now and he didn't feel like he should be feeling her chips and junk food all the time.

He popped the chicken onto the plates and threw the tray into the sink before heading to the bottom of the stairs.

"Nita, Tea's ready!" He yelled up.

No response. Upstairs was still quiet.

"Nita?" He tried once more

No response.

He sighed. Did she just want the space or was something wrong? He barely knew the teenager, he didn't even know what to do or say or if he should go talk to her or what. He made a split second decision and stepped forwards, climbing the stairs towards the room she was staying in.

He approached the door listening carefully for any sign of what he might find hidden behind the door. As he pressed his ear up again the door he heard it. Soft sobbing.

He stepped back and bit his lip. Nita had been quiet but fine since Kirsty and Warren were admitted to hospital, he wasn't entirely sure what he could day but he knocked on the door anyway.

She didn't reply so he turned the handle and let himself in.

Nita was curled up on the bed, her arms wrapped around her legs as she hugged them to her chest, her face was buried in her knees and she was sobbing.

Adam's heart broke as he watched. He was a stranger to the teenager and probably not much comfort at all. He stepped forwards and sat down on the bed next to her. She looked up as she felt the bed lower under his weight.

"It's ok to be upset you know" He said as she lowered her legs so they were swinging down the side of the bed and began to try and wipe the tears from her face with her sleeve.

She nodded slightly. Adam reached over and put an arm around her shoulders.

"I know I am not your Mum or your Dad and really I'm a stranger but if your upset and you want to talk at all I will be here and I will listen." Adam promised

Nita nodded before falling into his arms and sobbing into his neck.

"I want my Mum and I want my Dad." Nita admitted as she sobbed

"I know." Adam comforted her "It'll all be ok I promise."

She must have been crying into his shoulder for a good ten minutes before she pulled back slightly wiping at her tears.

"I'm glad your Mum's friend." Nita said simply "You're really nice"

Adam smiled slightly

"Can I go see them again tomorrow?" Nita asked

"Of course, you can go, or not go, to see either of them whenever you want, though we should think about school tomorrow ok?"

"Ok." Nita agreed

"Your Mum would be proud of you for being so brave." Adam told her squeezing her shoulder gently.

Nita nodded as Adam stood up.

"Now I had prepared us some food downstairs want to go and see if it's still edible?" he suggested

"Ok." She nodded with small smile

Adam led the way downstairs and a quiet Nita followed. He gestured to the spare seat at the table and Nita took it digging into the chicken as he settled himself into his usual chair on the other side of the table.

He watched as she took a bite of the chicken and winced slightly .

"Cold?" He asked with a small sigh

Nita nodded blushing slightly obviously not wanting to offend Adam.

"Ah." Adam replied "How do you like microwave lasagne?"

"Sounds… edible?" Nita asked with a small smile

"Your Mum is going to kill me but I can't feed you a cold meal now can I?" Adam laughed slightly standing up and picking up the plates of once appetising food. "Microwave lasagne here we come!"

Considering he had been thrown in the deep end Adam though he was doing quite a good job parenting the teenager that had unexpectedly found her way into his care. It was the third day Nita had been staying with him. They had already established a bit of a routine. Adam would drop Nita at school and she would get the bus to the hospital and he would meet her and take her to see her parents.

"Bye Adam." Nita smiled slightly as she slipped form the car. Adam, who had been lost in thought waved to her before setting off towards the emergency department.

Work was a distraction from his thoughts about Kirsty but every single break he had been spending by her side, not that Nita or the rest of the staff knew either, some might have suspected where he vanished too but none of the every spoke about it or asked him where he went. Tess greeted him every morning with the same "How is she doing?" question.

Each day passed the same and the evenings too, they we're spent between the two hospital rooms, before heading home where Nita did her homework as Adam prepared a meal. They had Tea, watched television and then Nita headed to bed whilst Adam pondered everything that was going on and completed the stray pieces of paperwork he might have brought home to complete. It was like a routine they had established to help block out the pain of Kirsty's current condition and the waiting game they played waiting for her to wake up.

Nita headed up to her room today as they returned. Adam headed to the kitchen and prepared a tea of meatballs and spaghetti.

"Nita tea!" he called up the stairs and hour and a half later when the meal was ready.

She didn't reply.

Adam put the plates down and headed up the stairs worried Nita might be crying again but instead he spotted her, looking into the smallest room of the house.

"What are you doing?" Adam couldn't help but let the anger slip into his voice and Nita jumped backing up against the wall. 

"I'm sorry I just wondered…" Nita started nervously

Adam stepped forwards and reached into the room grabbing the door and slamming it shut.

"I didn't say you could go in there." Adam said sharply.

Nita mumbled repeated apologies under her breathe and Adam suddenly realised how his anger was affecting the teenager. He was behaving like Warren. Adam took a step back and tried to calm himself down.

"I'm sorry Nita… I'm over reacting." His breathing was heavy still but as he looked the teenager in the eyes he found himself fighting back the urge to cry.

"Why do you have a room full of baby stuff when you have no children?" Nita burst out curiously

"It was my son's room." Tears filled Adam's eyes and he has to dab at them with his sleeve "he died… last year."

"I'm sorry." Nita stepped forwards not really knowing what to do or say next "I didn't mean to be nosy."

"You're a sweet kid Nita." Adam replied "Its ok."

"Do you miss him?" Nita asked

"A lot." Adam admitted

"You told me it was alright to cry." She pointed out as she looked up into his eyes and spotted the tears threatening to fall "Sometimes you have to cry and then you feel better."

She stepped up and wrapped her arms around Adam, he placed an arm around her in return.

"Sometimes you do." Adam agreed as a few tears fell and he held the teenager closer. He did miss Harry. He missed what could have been. Would he have been like at Nita's age? What would he have grown up to be?

"Mum will be back." Nita said into his t-shirt "And she will help you. My mum is good at helping people."

"She is." Adam agreed "She is."

Nita pulled away and vanished into her bedroom returning with a couple of tissues. Adam offered her a weak smile accepting the tissues and dabbing at his eyes. She reminded Adam so much of Kirsty it was untrue.

"Everything happens for a reason." Nita said simply "You will be a brilliant dad when you have more kids. I like you."

Adam smiled. It hurt a little bit thinking about starting a new family but in a subtle way Nita was right. Moving forwards was important and although he missed Harry, he should not let the past consume him.

"Come on Nita there's two plates of spaghetti and meatballs going cold with our name on!" Adam said wiping away the last of the tears and screwing up the tissue in the palm of his hand.

Maybe he needed to face the past as well as the present and just keep on hoping. For Kirsty's sake.

'Things might be going well but please wake up soon Kirsty' he said to himself like a silent prayer to in his head as he tucked into his tea. 'Please'


	24. Invincible

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 24 – Invincible **

It was like time and space didn't exist. She was stuck between two worlds. The real one and a place she didn't even begin to understand. She often heard the muffled voices echoing through the air around her, they had started off quiet but now were getting louder not that she could reply no matter how hard she tried to move her lips. She could see the light outside her eyelids getting brighter but when she tried to open her eyes and see what was going on it was like someone had glue them shut. She could feel something sofa drapped over her skin but when she tried to move her arms but they were frozen in place by her sides.

It was frustrating but sort of peaceful. The thoughts that filled her mind were all good but there was something dark creeping in at the corner and she had the feeling that when that dark thing reached her that something would happen something good or bad, she wasn't entirely sure which.

"You lying cow!" those words were the last he had said as the knife had slammed into her side. The three words she had forgotten. The darkness was Warren.

Her eyes flew open and a lot of bleeping filled her ears along with an all too familiar voice, a frightening familiar voice.

"Kirsty? Someone help!" Adam jumped forwards seeing Kirsty struggling her face full of panic.

It was Warren. The familiar but nto familiar hands on her arms pinning her to the bed suddenly became Warren and all those nasty words were screamed out from his lips as he loomed over her wearing a pair of bright green scrubs.

"Liar!"

"You lying selfish bitch!"

"If I can't have you he can't either."

"You deserve this!"

"Cow!"

"Shut your mouth!"

"Bitch!"

Her memories and the present crashed together and exploded in a haze of panic.

Adam lent over Kirsty. She seemed not to recognise him but her eyes glazed over as she fought tears trickling form her eyes. It looked like she was having some sort of nightmare.

"Kirsty calm down it's just, Kirsty it's me."

It's just me. It's just me. Green scrubs. Adam.

The face of Warren vanished and Adam's replaced it, she suddenly realised the grasp on her arms as light and his face was full or worry not anger. She relaxed against the bed.

"Where…am… I?" She managed to choke out beginning to cough.

Satisfied she wasn't about to fling herself off the bed Adam offered her a drink from the usually untouched jug of water on the cabinet besides her bed.

"ITU." Adam said raising the bed slightly as the nurses who had approached as Kirsty had begun screaming stepped in to check her over. She accepted the drink and sipped down a few mouthfuls. Her throat felt like sandpaper.

"What happened?" She asked looking into Adam's eyes as the nurses left them to go and call for a doctor to come and check Kirsty over.

"I was hoping you might be able to tell me that…" Adam sighed slightly "You were stabbed…"

Her hand immediately fell on her side where a large padded bandage rested against her skin. She blinked back tears as the pressure sent a small shockwave of pain through her body.

Adam gently lifted her hand from the wound and placed it at her side almost hoping she would confirm his fears.

"Warren." Kirsty muttered swallowing nervously and then her eyes flicked around the room "He's not here is he?"

"No…" Adam bit his lip "he's in psych at the moment."

"Psych?" Kirsty looked confused

"He took an overdose after he stabbed you." Adam broke the news in a calm voice despite the anger he felt towards Kirsty's husband.

"Oh." She leant back against the pillow. Being awake obviously tiring her out.

"I've been worried about you." Adam admitted blushing slightly

"No need to worry about me. Made of tough stuff I am." She mumbled closing her eyes for a minute before springing forwards panicking "Nita? Where's Nita?"

"It's ok, calm down." Adam comforted her

"But Nita…" Kirsty panicked

"…has been staying with me." Adam finished the sentence for her "We've being getting on ok actually." he smiled nervously

Kirsty looked relieved and laig back as the doctor appeared to check her over.

"I'll tell you what I will let them check you over and let you rest and I'll be back with Nita at four ok?" Adam asked

"Will you stay whilst he examines me?" Kirsty mumbled quietly

"Of course!" Adam replied stepping forwards and grabbing her hand

Kirsty smiled slightly as the doctor approached

He checked her over and seemed pleased with how well she was doing. Eventually he left and Adam gave Kirsty's hand one last squeeze.

"Ok trouble you take it easy I'll be back in three hours ok?" He said offering her a small smile. "My lunch break ended half an hour ago." He chuckled

"You better run then." Kirsty offered him a week smile "Or Tess will eat you for dinner."

"Nice to have you back Kirsty." He smiled

"Nice to be back." Kirsty smiled in return closing her eyes for a second.

Adam stood up as she opened her eyes again and gave him a small nod as if to say go ahead I'll be ok.

"Get them to page me if you want me." He said as he left leaving Kirsty to try and make sense of her mismatched memories.

"Hi Adam." Nita smiled as she entered the emergency department at ten to four.

"Nita!" Adam smiled putting his files down and standing up "I've got some really good news! Your Mum woke up!"

"Really?" Nita's eyes lit up and she immediately ran to Adam and wrapped her arms around him.

Adam felt special as she pealed herself from his waist. He had begun to grown quite fond of the teenager.

"Let me just go see if Tess will let me go five minutes early." He said gesturing for her ot follow him.

Tess was more than pleased, under the circumstances, for Adam to leave. He quickly threw on his t-shirt and led Nita up to the ward. The teenager stopped a few feet from the door.

"Is she ok?" She asked nervously "She is still going to be Mum isn't she?"

"She is her usual self" Adam confirmed dismissing her worries immediately "But she was a bit tired earlier."

Nita nodded and slipped her hand into Adam's.

"It'll be fine, I promise." Adam said leading her into the ward.

Kirsty was lying with her eyes closed but as they approached her eyelids flickered open and a smiled crossed her face as she spotted Nita.

"Mum!" Nita jumped forwards releasing her hand from Adam's and wrapping her arms carefully around her Mum's neck.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart." Kirsty immediately apologised tears filling her eyes

"I'm ok Mum, Adam's been taking care of me." Nita said pulling away and offering Adam a smile

"Thank you." Kirsty said simply meeting Adam's eye. He nodded.

"I've missed you so much." Nita admitted "I was so scared you were going to die!"

"I'm invincible." Kirsty smiled slightly

"When you were covered in blood and Dad was passed out I thought you would both be gone forever." Nita admitted as Adam produced two chairs for them to sit on.

"You found us?" Kirsty asked Adam saw the tears filling her eyes "Oh Nita…"

She vowed right then Nita would never experience anything so horrible again.

"It's ok Mum, really." Nita replied

"No. No its not." Kirsty forgot back the tears

Nita hugged her Mum once more.

"Everything will be ok." Kirsty said simply as she hugged her daughter.

Adam found himself fighting back tears, with Kirsty back in action he was sure everything eventually would be.


	25. Say the right thing

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 25 – Say the right thing **

It was the after Kirsty had woken up. Adam dropped a chirpy Nita off at school and headed into the emergency department where he was immediately set upon by several concerned members of staff asking how Kirsty was getting on. He was glad to be able to say well.

He had intended to leave visiting Kirsty until the evening with Nita, was it even his place to visit her so much? Besides work and a few lost moments in a pub and in resus two he didn't even know her that intimately. Come one o'clock almost automatically he found himself tracing the familiar route to Kirsty's ward. He placed his hand on the door and took a deep breath, should he even be here? Would she want to see him? He wasn't sure. He almost turned around but then decided otherwise and pushed the door open.

As opposed to the usual life-less form hooked up to several machines that he had become accustomed to seeing when he entered the ward instead today he was faced with a much more lively looking Kirsty, sitting up in bed reading a magazine, he face still showed a little bruising, more obvious due to the lack of make up, Adam guessed she had become good at caking it on so the staff in the department wouldn't notice the purplely blue tint to her skin.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" She asked putting down the magazine as he approached and smiling up at him.

"I guess I got a little to used to visiting you on my lunch breaks!" Adam admitted honestly "How are you doing?" he asked pulling up a seat next to her bed.

"Little sore but ok." Kirsty nodded slightly "It's peaceful in here, besides the machines obviously, nothing to worry about..." She trailed off

"Good I hope you're resting up." Adam nodded

"Yes Doctor Trueman." She laughed slightly.

He smiled

"The whole department is worried about you you know!" He informed her "I wouldn't be surprised if Tess arrived to pass on a card and flowers later, I believe they are doing a collection..."

"I wish they didn't have to know..." Kirsty admitted "I don't want everyone feeling sorry for me..."

"You were stabbed... I'm sorry Kirsty but I think your going to have a few concerned faces visiting!" Adam pointed out

Kirsty closed her eyes

"I provoked him."

"I'm sure you didn't" Adam tried to reassure her but she shook her head "Kirsty whatever you said or did, not that I believe for a second you did anything wrong, no one deserves to be stabbed." He said sensibly

She turned to face the window avoiding his eye.

"It's not your fault Kirsty." Adam tried to reassure her

"No, it's yours." She turned to face Adam her eyes looked cold and empty "If you hadn't gotten involved he wouldn't have done this. If you hadn't sent me that text, I wouldn't have replied and he wouldn't have decided we were having an affair!" she added rasiing her voice angrily.

"You're allowed to have friends Kirsty!" Adam protested "Those texts were between friends, he is the one that but two and two together and made five!"

"But he's my husband! I'm supposed to be there for him, in sickness and in health." Tears were falling down Kirsty's face now. "But I'm actually glad he's been locked up and I never want to see him again." She admitted

"He hurt you." Adam said simply "and now you feel vulnerable and confused."

"What do I do Adam?" Kirsty asked leaning back "I don't think I can go back to him but he's vulnerable. I can't leave him either."

"I can't decided for you Kirsty but maybe its time you thought of yourself, I get the feeling you have sacrificed a lot for him over the years, maybe it's about time you stepped back and said you have had enough before next time I'm sitting at your graveside not your bedside."

Kirsty nodded slightly dabbing at her eyes.

"I'm sorry for shouting..." she apologised

"I'm sorry I couldn't stop this." Adam apologised.

"Will you be back later?" she asked as Adam stood up

"That depends if you want me to be?" Adam replied "I will be bringing Nita after school, If you want me to stay outside I will..."

"I want you to come in..." Kirsty admitted blushing slightly

"Then I will come in." Adam nodded

"Thank you for taking care of her, you really didn't have to..." Kirsty added as Adam shuffled his feet.

"I don't mind." Adam shrugged slightly "It's actually quite nice to have some company in the house again."

""Well thanks anyway, hopefully I will be out of here soon..." Kirsty looked up at him "I'm sorry again Adam..." shed added feeling slightly ashamed "Everything is just so confused..."

"Don't be sorry." Adam said leaning over and grabbing her hand and squeezing it "It all be ok eventually." He reassured her, she nodded and he released her hand standing up straight. "I should be getting back to work... but I will see you about 4ish with Nita ok?"

"Ok." Kirsty smiled slightly

Adam waved as he left and suddenly Kirsty felt a little bit lost. She shook her head, she could not have feelings for Adam, not when everything was already so complicated. She closed her eyes. Just because he was nice to her didn't mean anything at all did it?

Adam found himself smiling to himself as he watched Nita telling Kirsty all about her day at school and showing her mum her English essay. It was such a simple scene despite all the drama going on around the thirteen year old right now.

He didn't really get to talk to Kirsty much, Nita's presence put a hush on the adult conversations. Adam was actually glad, Kirsty needed to stop worrying and relax and Nita did that. However watching Nita entertain Kirsty made him wonder about Harry and if his son would have had the same effect on him during any tough times he went though.

He shook off the thoughts as Nita turned to him to ask if she could go and visit her Dad as well.

"Of course." He replied as she stood up

They left Kirsty, with many a wave and a hug and headed up to the psych ward. Before Kirsty had woken up Adam had spent his time whilst Nita was with Warren at Kirsty's side but now she was awake he was wary that she might not appreciate him visiting her three, four maybe even five times a day. Luckily Charlie was on shift so as Nita set about finding her Dad, Adam gratefully accepted a cup off coffee in the staffroom off Charlie.

Nita returned exactly an hour later her face a little pale.

"Are you ok Nita?" Adam asked as they left the ward

"Yes." She replied immediately "Well I think so." She added as Adam led the way through the corridors.

"What's wrong?" Adam asked

"I told him Mum was awake." Nita admitted as she rejoined Adam looking up into his eyes "Should I have done that?"

"I suppose he has a right to know..." Adam said his own heart suddenly beating faster

"He looked kind of angry..." Nita admitted "I never know what I should or shouldn't say to him... Adam will they make him better? He used to be much nicer and hurt mum a lot less..."

"They will help him as much as they can." Adam told the teenager

"I hope they fix him." Nita added as they left the building

"I hope so too." Adam added with a small smile as he unlocked his car. 'If only for your sake' he added in his head as they climbed into the car and started the drive home.


	26. Memories

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 26 – Memories **

Kirsty did not approve of being a patient. She much preferred being on the other side of the bed and being the nurse treating the patient. Not that she was kicking up much of a fuss. Secretly she enjoyed the fact she was stuck in hospital whilst the doctors observed her, she liked that she was safe here. She would be leaving soon, a couple of days, the nurse had said. She didn't want to be a patient anymore but going home was looking scary.

Nita's visits were the highlight of the day.

There was one question Nita asked that made Kirsty wince every time.

"Are you going to visit Dad soon?"

She should probably go and visit Warren, after all he was unwell too, but facing him was hard after all he had put her in hospital. She knew that it hadn't been fully his fault, he was ill and he had lashed out but at the same time there had to be some malice. Some intent to harm behind his actions.

She had always brushed his anger under the carpet. Not just since the fire but before that. Since before Nita a born, Infact the first time he had laid a hand on her they had only been fifteen.

[i]"Why were you talking to him?"

"He only asked where the snack machines are..." Kirsty stepped back from him

"Liar." He hissed grabbing her wrist and gripping it hard "Are you my girlfriend or what?"

"I'm your girlfriend." Kirsty replied immediately "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to"

"Good, Remember that." Warren let go of her wrist "It's your go." He gestured at the bowling alley

[/i]

She had been frightened of him that day but he had returned to his usual calm self afterwards, sly, charming, a little gangster at times, over protective but Warren. His confidence and cockiness and boyish good looks had attracted her back when she was in school. His nick name at the alley had been Warren the Fury, she supposed she should have realised his temper would shine through at times with a nick name like that but usually he was so nice in her presence.

There was one though she had often pondered. If the accident hadn't happened... if she hadn't fallen pregnant with Nita a few weeks later would it hade been nothing more than a teenage romance?

[i] Kirsty closed her eyes as she counted. In thirty second things could be about to change forever.

She opened her eyes and looked down to the white plastic stick she was clasping between her fingers.

Two blue lines.

What now? [/i]

They had not been in love when they had had Nita. What followed was a relationship of convince which eventually turned into a kind of love which wasn't what Kirsty had day dreamed about through her childhood.

Warren had been surprisingly supportive from the beginning they had finished their GCSE's and whilst Kirsty had gone on to do the A levels she needed to follow her dream of becoming a nurse, Warren had stayed home with Nita. Warren insisted that they got married before Nita was born, it was a quick job in the registry office but at the time it was all they could afford. Kirsty had been glad to escape her parents, with Nita on the way they were top of the list for a council flat which they got just after she was born.

The novelty of family life had warn off for Warren by the time Nita has turned three. He insisted Kirsty was around more so she ended up on a part time nursing course working her way around family life. Warren, who Kirsty suspected to be jealous of her work, had become interested in making a career for himself as well, he always said it was to make Nita proud but Kirsty always suspected that the main reason he wanted to get a job was to get some space. Not that she blamed him.

Warren joined the fire brigade when Nita was five. Kirsty remembered the month where Nita would insist on wearing a plastic fire fighters hat on fondly but it was also the month when Warren snapped for the first time.

[i]Kirsty has just finished a long day at placement.

"You were supposed to be back an hour ago!"

"It was busy..." Kirsty shrugged

"It's my turn to go out." Warren protested angrily

"Look Warren I can't help it, its my job!" Kirsty protested rolling her eyes

He slapped her.

Her jaw dropped as she raised her hand to her face and looked up into his eyes.

"Mummy?" Nita asked from the doorway, yellow fire fighters hat still onto of her messy hair despite the fact she was dressed in her pyjamas ready for bed.

"Come on sweetheart lets put you to bed." Kirsty turned her attention to her daughter and walked away from Warren

"I didn't mean to..." Warren shot after her but Kirsty ignored him and concentrated on Nita. [/i]

He hadn't laid a finger on her for ages afterwards but every now and again his temper would get the better of him if Kirsty did something he didn't approve off. They had grown apart, staying together more for Nita than anything. Kirsty had often thought of leaving him particularly when he had lashed out at her or after he returned from the pub completely intoxicated.

[i] The door banged open. In staggered Warren, stinking of beer.

"Be quiet." Kirsty hissed as she hurried down the stairs "Nita's asleep."

"Aww come on Kirst..." Warren slurred laughing to himself before placing a sloppy drunk kiss on her lips.

"Get off me!" she pushed him back. "Warren I've had enough." She told him

"Come on" Warren slurred

"No." Kirsty protested grabbing his arm and dragging him through to the living room where she let him fall onto the sofa unceremoniously "You really push the limits don't you?" she added before leaving him to his own devices to annoyed to really care. [/i]

Domestic bliss, Kirsty thought not. Infact she had gotten divorce papers and was going to break up with Warren after a week that had involved two beatings, him coming back intoxicated twice and a lot of arguing. She had had enough but then the fire had happened. She had been sat up drinking a cup of tea whilst she waited for him to come home when she had gotten the phone call from the fire station saying that Warren was seriously hurt.

All plans of divorce had been firmly pushed out of her head as she worried about her husband. She may not love him anymore but that hadn't meant she had stopped caring. She had pulled Nita from her bed and hurried to the emergency department.

Kirsty sighed. She was going to leave him before he was ill but afterwards she just couldn't leave him and then his condition made his occasional attacks got worse. She was not entirely sure that it was to blame for everything. Warren after all had hurt her before he had gotten ill.

"Hi Mum!"

Kirsty was snapped from her thoughts by an enthusiastic Nita entering the room.

"Hello sweetheart have you had a nice day at school?" She asked smiling slightly as Adam followed her daughter into the room

Now Adam, the feelings she had for Adam were actually stronger than those she had ever had for Warren. She shook the thoughts of Adam from her mind and focused on the exercise book Nita was showing her.

"Well done Nita." She smiled as she read the 10/10 in the corner

"Dad keeps asking after you." Nita said closing the book and looking into her Mum's eyes

"Does he..." Kirsty trailed off

"Do you hate him?" Nita asked immediately Kirsty watched Adam step closer looking a bit worried

"No, of course I don't Nita..." Kirsty shook her head

"He really wanted to see you..." Nita told her

"I'll go and see him." She sighed slightly "Tomorrow ok?"

"I'll tell him later." Nita beamed

Nita had always been a Daddy's girl. Kirsty guessed it was because he had looked after her so much when she was little. She didn't want to see Warren but maybe Nita was right to persuade her, if nothing else they could do with talking things through in a place where Warren couldn't really hurt her.

"What else have you done at school today?" Kirsty asked distracting Nita from the subject of her father

Nita began telling her a long story about something that had happened in Maths and Kirsty glanced over at Adam, she saw a hint of worry in his eyes but she brushed it off. Maybe she needed to go and talk to Warren. She was scared of the mere idea of facing him, the dull pain in her side was a nasty reminder of how dangerous her husband could be but she did care, she had to even if it was only a little bit, he was Nita's dad after all. Maybe because he was getting help they would talk things through. It was a long shot but still.


	27. Taking back control

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 27 – Taking back control. **

Kirsty felt nervous as she paced through the familiar hospital. The nurse had advised her that walking such a long way when she was only just beginning to walk again would be a bad idea, she warned her about the potential damage she could do to her healing wound in her stomach but Kirsty was determined that this visit had to be made alone. She could not ask Adam or Nita to accompany her. She didn't want the nurses help, she wanted to do it alone. Tomorrow she was due to leave the hospital and she had not intention of returning just to visit him so today was her chance.

She found the psych ward easily. It wasn't as if she had never been before, she was after all a registered mental health nurse and she often found herself accompanying patients up here after they had been assessed.

She hit the buzzer and shuffled her feet awkwardly. She was wearing a pair of pyjamas that Adam had brought her along with a brand new dressing gown and slippers.

"Kirsty!" Charlie opened the door and peek around it his face lighting up as he spotted her "How are you doing?"

"Ok, I'm here to see Warren..." She trailed off avoiding Charlie's eye.

"Of course, come in." Charlie smiled welcoming her into the ward.

As he shut the door she glanced around, the whole place felt a lot more threatening than it usually did maybe because of who it was currently home to.

"Warren's in his room, do you want to go in and speak to him or shall I get him to come to you?" Charlie asked carefully making Kirsty suddenly aware of how much everyone now knew about her relationship with Warren.

"I'll go and see him." She stuck out her jaw determinedly "I'm not some fragile battered woman." She added defensively

"Ok." Charlie nodded not convinced "This way."

He led her down the familiar corridor and gestured to a door with a piece of paper baring the words 'Warren Clements' in the name slot.

Charlie stood back and watched as Kirsty took the door handle. She shot him a glare but then bit her lip nervously as she opened the door and stepped inside.

"Hey." She said as Warren turned to look at her.

There was a moment of silence, of deep breathing as their eyes met. Kirsty could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

"Hi." He replied dully

Kirsty wandered inside going to shut the door however Charlie stepped forwards and propped it open

"We have to keep it open, Ward policy." Charlie told Kirsty, she nodded secretly pleased.

She stepped over and pulled the lone chair in the room over to the side of the bed where Warren was sat. He placed the book he had been reading down on the bedside table.

What was she supposed to say? Thanks for stabbing me I forgive you because you're not well? This was a step too far. The stabbing had put everything else into perspective and she couldn't be in a relationship with him anymore. She couldn't even do it under the false pretence of 'I can't leave him he is ill' or even for Nita's sake. I had put years of little hiccups, little injuries, big injuries, violent tempers into perspective. Warren was dangerous, to her at least.

"I heard what happened." She started carefully.

"Yeah." Warren looked up at her

"How are you doing?" She asked very aware that after what he had doe not her he should probably be the one asking if she was ok not the other way around.

"Ok, would be much better if you'd bothered to visit." Warren almost hissed and Kirsty sat back biting her lip

"I was recovering from being stabbed, I'd say that was a fair excuse for not visiting you." Kirsty replied calmly feeling frustrated that he was turning the whole situation round on her to try and make her feel bad. She suddenly realised how manipulative Warren could be. Knowing his condition she knew he was dosed up on anti depressants right now and she was getting the most honest comments she could have expected to hear falling from his lips. He couldn't blame this on his post traumatic stress disorder because that was being managed, this was Warren's own views, Warren's own manipulative behaviour.

"Don't make this all about you!" Warren snapped standing up and looking down into Kirsty's eyes.

"What is it about then Warren?" Kirsty asked raising her eyebrows slightly "Do you not remember what happened?"

He looked away looking ashamed and Kirsty stood up so she was at the same level as him.

"You have been ill." She said simply "but this isn't all because you are ill. The first time you hurt me it wasn't lashing out in anger because you were unable to do everything you could before, it was before Nita was even born."

"Liar." Warren muttered

"You know it's true." Kirsty stood up to him as he stepped closer "I don't think what you've done to me can ever be fully be pinned on some mental problem, although I think it has contributed. You feel out of control so you took control of me."

He stepped forwards menacingly

"I can't do this anymore." She admitted

"You're my wife!" Warren burst out angrily grabbing her wrist.

Kirsty looked up bravely into his eyes.

"This. This is exactly why I need to do this." Kirsty shook his hand off and stepped back nervously spotting Charlie's wary eye peaking around the door "Warren we are over. I know your ill and I'm really glad you're getting the help you need and deserve but I can't stay with you anymore."

"But you're my wife!" He hissed once more as Charlie stepped into view. Kirsty waved a hand to gesture it was ok but he didn't look convinced and stayed in the door way.

"And look what you have done to me!" She lifted her pyjama top toe reveal the healing wound surrounded by a collection of bruises of varying ages. "I'm sorry Warren you took it too far. We will make arrangements for you to see Nita, whilst your in here and once you are better but if you come near me again I'm going to call the police." She told him bravely

"But I need you." Tears appeared at the corner of Warren's eyes he almost looked pitiful and in the past Kirsty would have stepped down, comforted him, but she couldn't forget the dull aching pain in her side caused by Warren.

"If you needed me you would have respected me not beaten me up." Kirsty shook her head sadly "I want us to leave on good terms, I'm not going to press charges about the stabbing and I'm not going to stop you seeing Nita but I want a clean break. We are over and if you step over and try to hurt me or Nita or try anything then I will contact the police." She added in a warning tone. "Ok?"

Warren slumped to the floor and nodded.

I'll bring Nita to come and visit you a couple of times a week whilst you're still in here. I guess we can sit down and discuss the rest once you have fully recovered." Kirsty said simply standing back

"I'm sorry." Warren said looking up at her pitifully.

Kirsty was not going to back down, even at the pitiful lost expression on her husbands face. It was over. She couldn't take anymore.

"I hope you get better Warren and learn from your mistakes." She said simply before turning and passing Charlie

"Are you ok?" he asked as she walked down the corridor

"I just need to get out of here." She replied looking over her should at the nurse who was torn between her and the sobbing Warren. "I'll see you later Charlie."

She headed to the door and asked one of the other members of staff to let her out which they did. She headed down the corridor before collapsing to the floor, relieved tears falling down her cheeks. That was the first time she had really stood up to Warren. He had been in control of her for over thirteen years and finally she had taken that control back and she was free. She hugged her knees tightly. She felt a bit lost but incredibly relieved.


	28. Coming Home

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 28 – Coming Home**

The ward door banged open and Kirsty immediately knew what was about to happen.

"Dads upset."

Kirsty sighed she knew the break up would upset Nita but she couldn't take anymore. She spotted Adam following her in nervously, he had obviously had witnessed Nita's anger on the walk between wards.

""I guessed. I'm sorry Nita... I just couldn't…" Kirsty felt tears brimming in her eyes.

"He needs us!" Nita protested

"Warren is not good for me." Kirsty bit her lip and looked into her daughters eyes "He needs you to be strong for him Nita and he does need you but for me to stay with him… I wouldn't be happy and I don't want something else to happen…" She looked ashamed "I feel like I am abandoning him…"

"You're not abandoning him Kirsty" Adam reassured her immediately "Nita look at where your mum is. You may love your dad but it would be dangerous for your mum to stay with him."

Nita paled slightly and slumped down in the chair next to Kirsty's bed.

"I don't want you to get hurt more but you're hurting him too." Nita looked confused

"Do you understand why I made the choice to step away?" Kirsty asked fighting back tears

Adam watched feeling like he was intruding on a scene he shouldn't be intruding upon.

Nita nodded slightly

"It doesn't mean you can't still love him or see him." Kirsty promised "Warren made some bad mistakes and that made him lose me but he doesn't have to lose you too."

"What will happen?" Nita asked worried

"We will get a divorce." Kirsty admitted truthfully and bluntly "But for now you can keep visiting him and when he gets out of the hospital we'll see what happens but I imagine we'll arrange for you to see him a few days a week."

"Ok." Nita nodded looking a little more comfortable

"I'm so sorry." Kirsty said sadly she could see how much the idea of her parents breaking up was tearing at Nita. "I'm scared…" she mumbled and Nita jumped up and wrapped her arms around her mum

"I don't want him to hurt you anymore." She confessed

"He won't." Kirsty promised "But Nita…" she trailed off "I want you to still see him, he has the right as do you but if he ever lays a finger on you…"

"I'll tell you." Nita said knowing exactly what Kirsty meant

"I get to come home tomorrow." Kirsty told Nita as she pulled away

"Really?" Nita grinned excitedly

"Yes really." Kirsty smiled back before turning to Adam "I don't suppose… a lift?" she asked nervously blushing slightly

"Of course" Adam stepped forwards

"Thank you" Kirsty smiled

"No problem at all." Adam brushed it off

Kirsty couldn't help but feel lucky to have Adam as a friend. He had done so much for her in the last few weeks without even having to be asked and she was glad he had been there. She smiled at him and he nodded. She felt the butterflies in her stomach but she pushed them aside, right now she was going to focus on getting her life back on track not crushes on doctors that probably wouldn't even be that interested in her.

Kirsty fiddled with the sleeve of her cardigan. Yesterday they had arranged for Adam to pick Nita up from school and bring her and her stuff that she had been using at his house to collect Kirsty about half past four. She couldn't wait to be free of the hospital and everything. It was almost like a new start but at the same time she was extremely nervous.

"Mum!" Nita burst through the doors distracting Kirsty from her thoughts and worries

"Hey sweetheart" Kirsty smiled as Nita hugged her

It didn't take long for the nurses to sort out the paper work and for Kirsty to be discharged. Adam led Kirsty and an excited Nita out of the hospital and to his car.

"Good job I traded in my old car for one with five seats isn't it?" Adam laughed slightly as he put Kirsty's bag in the boot. He had changed his car on a bit of a whim he might end up at some point needing to give Kirsty this very lift from the hospital to home with Nita in tow. He had fancied a new car anyway.

"Yes, this one still looks quite posh!" Kirsty said examining the car

"Don't know much about cars do you?" Adam laughed slightly as Nita climbed into the back seat and Kirsty slipped into the front.

It wasn't a long journey to Kirsty's house but as they pulled up outside Kirsty went from excitement of finally leaving the hospital to nerves about returning to the house where all the bad things had happened.

Nita had jumped out the car but Kirsty was totally lost in her thoughts. Adam glanced over at her a little concerned and lent over and placing his hand on hers.

"Are you ok?" he asked concerned snapped Kirsty from her trance.

"Sorry..." she apologised "I was just lost in my thoughts, I'm fine" she reassured him "Sure?"

"Sure." She nodded climbing out of the car and pulling out the keys from her pocket fumbling with them slightly, something that didn't go unnoticed by Adam who had headed round to the boot of the car to get out Kirsty and Nita's bags.

Kirsty let them into the house and then turned and accepted the bags off Adam.

"Thank you for everything you have done for me and Nita." She said as he leant against the wall.

"No problem at all." Adam nodded "Anything else just let me know…"

"I will." She nodded "Thanks."

"Thanks Adam." Nita chipped in from behind Kirsty she pushed past and gave him a hug

Kirsty smiled and Adam met her eye, did she look scared? He sighed slightly. Kirsty was stubborn, she was not going to admit that she was scared and with Warren still locked up on the psych ward Adam couldn't really think of an excuse to offer his company if Kirsty was hinting for him to go.

"You have my number." He whispered in Kirsty's ear as he pulled her into a one armed hug "Enjoy your freedom once more." He added louder as he stepped back "I'll see you around?"

"Definitely." Kirsty nodded gratefully

Adam headed back away from the house offering the girls a small wave as he got into his car. Part of him really didn't want to leave her but part of him knew it was not is place to intrude whilst Kirsty settled back into her life at home. He turned on the engine and sighed taking once last look at Kirsty who was still watching before he drove off.

Kirsty listened to Nita's cheerful ideas about what they could do now Kirsty was home as she dragged both of their bags upstairs.

She headed through to the kitchen, a coffee on the top of her list of wants, Stepping through the door she stopped dead in her tracks. The floor was still stained with blood and the scene was far from picture perfect. She turned around and shut the door. She would clean it later, Nita couldn't see that. Not again.

"Can we watch a movie?" Kirsty looked up to see Nita coming back down the stairs

"Whatever you want sweetheart." Kirsty smiled her back against the kitchen door, she suddenly had an idea "let's make a night off it, I'll order take out and you can pick the movie."

"Ok!" Nita agreed excitedly vanishing into the living room.

Kirsty sighed. Holding everything together was already proving to be hard.

However the movie and the takeout pizza proved a well needed distraction as Kirsty and Nita curled up on the sofa together.

Nita headed to bed at nine on the dot. Some minor miracle, Kirsty envisioned the usual just another half an hour argument but the novelty of having her mum home had made Nita compliant.

Kirsty faced up to the kitchen. Switching the light on she dug out the cleaning agents from under the sink and began scrubbing. This was something that she was actually too used to doing. She had had to clean up from one of Warren's attacks many times. It had become just another patch of blood on the floor as she scrubbed at it. However the act of cleaning proved to be just the distraction Kirsty needed as she focused all her energy and attention on making the kitchen look less like a crime scene more like a kitchen.

Come 12am Kirsty switched off the kitchen light, pleased with the improvement and headed upstairs her mind buzzing. She changed into her pyjamas and climbed into her side of the bed laying her head down on the pillow and wrapping the duvet around herself. Suddenly she felt like a child. A lost child haunted by ghost stories. She suddenly found herself worrying that Warren would spring from behind any and every corner. She glanced around nervously unable to wipe the memories of what had happened in this room, in this house, from her mind feeling very alone and very scared.

She closed her eyes shut tight and fought the tears of fear that trickled down her face and reminded herself over and over that she had to be strong for Nita and that Warren was in the psych ward and everything would be ok.


	29. Restless Nights

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 29 – Restless Nights **

As glad as she was to be out of the hospital there was something about being home that, to put it simply, scared Kirsty. The main thing keeping her going was putting on a brave face for Nita but once Nita was at school she would give up putting on the front and drive into town, anywhere but the house, and spend the day as far away from the memories as possible.

Coffee shops were her favourite day time haunts, she was lucky to have not bumped into anyone she knew, but then again, she was just out in town, they didn't know she would spend ages sipping a coffee that got gradually colder until she had to pick up Nita. There was nothing to explain... was there?

She couldn't wait to get back to work, merely a week after returning home she found herself heading towards the emergency. She looked up at the threatening building and smiled, she had missed this place. She had dropped Nita off and headed straight here, fed up of haunting the coffee shops in the town centre. Kirsty was keen to impress Tess and be allowed back to work.

Entering the department the familiar surroundings put her at ease right away and she smiled as she watched the doctors and nurses going about their jobs, many saying hi as she walked past on the hunt for Tess. As she rounded the corner however she bumped into both the first and last person she wanted to see right now. Adam.

"What are you doing here?" He asked approaching her holding a set of patients notes to his chest looking a little confused and concerned.

"I'm going mad stuck in that house" Kirsty admitted honestly blushing slightly, she didn't need to admit the place also brought back bad memories, "I'm hoping Tess will let me back, at least part time anyway!"

"You were stabbed!" Adam said bluntly

"Yes but I am not an invalid!" Kirsty rolled her eyes "The wound has healed well, plus..." her voice faltered slightly as she looked down at her feet "I just need to get out..." she admitted

"Are you ok?" Adam asked concerned as he noticed the fear in Kirsty's eyes.

Adam's worried expression made her want to admit the truth, how the house brought back memories, how she didn't like being alone there just in case... She half shook her head ready to break down and confess to Adam when she spotted Tess approaching out of the corner of her eye. She pulled herself together smiled at Adam slightly and turned to Tess.

"Kirsty! What are you doing here?" Tess asked a little shocked to see Kirsty back in the department.

Kirsty put on a small smile as Adam waved slightly and headed off to continue treating patients with a last glance over his shoulder at her.

"Looking for you." Kirsty smiled nervously "I was hoping I could come back to work..." 

"A week after being discharged?" Tess looked sceptical

"Just part time, paperwork, cubicles, anything!" Kirsty pleaded suddenly realising how desperate she sounded "I just want something to do to take my mind off everything..." she admitted

"Well if the wound is healing well..." Tess sighed slightly

"It is, you can examine it if you want." Kirsty chipped in simply

"Well if you're sure then we do always need an extra pair of hands." Tess sighed "Is something going on Kirsty?"

"Sitting around at home all day just makes me think about everything that's happened over the last month..." Kirsty admitted "I just want something to get on with."

"I see." Tess nodded placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder "Well I'll give you a ring tonight and we'll sort something ok?"

"Thanks Tess." Kirsty smiled

"No problem, but if you change your mind once your back please let me know." Tess said simply

"I will Tess but I'll be fine." Kirsty reassured her

"If you say so." Tess nodded

Kirsty thanked Tess and left the department, heading to her car she made her way to one of the coffee shops to waste what she hoped to be her last afternoon.

A week later and Kirsty was back working in the emergency department. Tess had set up three week day daytime shifts for her in cubicles and doing paperwork only it was better than nothing but Kirsty longed to be back at work full time but still she had to admit that just the three days combined with not sleeping very well was starting to catch up with her and she couldn't help but feel exhausted all the time.

Adam had to admit he was glad to have Kirsty back, he liked working with her but she looked exhausted. The bags around her eyes seemed to get darker every day. She had only been back at work a week and he was a little worried but he hadn't even gotten five minutes alone with her to talk to her.

"Has anyone seen Kirsty?" Tess's voice interrupted Adams thoughts

"No, sorry..." Adam shrugged "Why?"

"Oh its nothing I just haven't seen her in an hour, I thought she might have been having a break but she seems to have vanished, I'm sure she's probably in cubicles somewhere." Tess shrugged

"I'll take a look around." Adam said putting his stethoscope around his neck.

"Let me know if you find her." Tess said looking a little concerned

"I will." Adam nodded heading off.

He checked the staffroom, cubicles, reception, even resus before he had an idea. Heading up the stairs he knocked on the on call room door.

"Kirsty?"

No reply. He twisted the handle and let himself in just to check and stopped in his tracks as he spotted Kirsty, fast asleep, on the bed in her scrubs.

He stepped inside, shutting the door behind him and perched on the edge of the bed looking down at Kirsty as she slept. He reached over and instinctively stroked her hair gently.

"What is going on with you?" he wondered allowed as she stirred.

Adam moved his hand from her head and watched as her eyes opened. She suddenly spotted him sat on the edge of the bed and immediately sat up avoiding looking in his eyes.

"I'm sorry I only meant to grab five minutes..." Kirsty blushed as she began to panic checking her watch.

"Kirsty, Kirsty woah." Adam placed a gentle hand on her arm "I'm a bit worried, what going on?"

"Nothing." Kirsty replied automatically.

"Your asleep at work despite insisting that you wanted to come back to work and were ready to come back to work!" Adam pointed out worriedly

Kirsty sighed and picked at a loose thread at the bottom of her scrubs.

"It's hard being back there... I keep expecting..." She shrugged slightly avoiding Adam's eyes

Adam nodded in understanding. Of course the house she had returned to had been the house where Warren had beaten her repeatedly. Places where bad things happened often were hard to revisit. He had been terrified of cars for a few years after his childhood car crash.

"You're safe." He tried to reassure her

"I know but that wont make the memories go away." She blurted out "I'm sorry." She looked up into Adam's eyes "I'm being totally pathetic about this..."

"No, no you're not." Adam placed his hand on hers and squeezed it slightly "It's hard. Could you not sell up, move on?"

"I'll be fine eventually." Kirsty said trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince Adam. "They are just stupid nightmares."

"Look if you and Nita want somewhere to stay for a few nights I still have a spare room..." Adam suggested "You look like you need a break from the nightmares."

Kirsty nodded slightly and looked up at Adam sadly

"That would be nice, I haven't slept properly since we moved back." She confessed

"Come and stay for a few days, catch up on sleep and then when you have got your head together you can work out what you want to do, sell up maybe and find somewhere for you and Nita to have a fresh start." Adam suggested

Kirsty nodded uncertainly.

"The spare room...?" Kirsty asked

"Is yours and Nita's whenever you want it." Adam squeezed her hand

"Tonight?" Kirsty asked nervously "I don't think I can take another... I don't know what I will say to Nita..."

"Tell her the truth." Adam suggested "She's a lot braver than I think you realise."

"Thanks Adam." Kirsty smiled "You are amazing, I don't know what I'd have done without you..."

"It was nothing." Adam nodded "That's what friends are for, however right now I think you should get back to work, Tess has been hunting you down..."

"Oh god..." Kirsty stood up

"I'll come over to yours about six ish?" Adam suggested as she bolted towards the door

"That would be great." She smiled as she opened the door "Thanks Adam!" she added as she shot out the room

"Anytime." Adam smiled slightly as she hurried back to work to try and avoid the wrath of Tess.


	30. Never Simple

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 30 – Never simple **

Kirsty bit her lip as she turned the key to the house and let herself and Nita inside. She wished it would be simple and she could just stay here until Warren was ok to discuss a divorce and splitting their join possessions, the house included. But this house felt like it was haunted to Kirsty, she couldn't keep spending every waking moment afraid of her own shadow, plagued by nightmares and panic attacks. Your home was supposed to feel safe not scary. She was totally exhausted and right now Adam's offer was the best she was going to get. She needed to get out of this house.

"We need to have a bit of a talk." Kirsty announced as they entered the house and Nita put her bag on the hook.

"Why?" Nita asked suspiciously as she wriggled free of her coat and Kirsty shut the door.

"Let's go sit down and I'll try to explain." Kirsty sighed, she had a feeling Nita wasn't going to like her plan however much she got on with Adam she could see it as betraying her father, she was still a bit of a daddies girl after all, she had reacted badly enough to her leaving Warren let alone moving out of the house.

"Did I do something?" Nita asked as she settled into one of the kitchen chairs and eyes up Kirsty who had flopped down tiredly into the chair opposite.

"Of course not sweetheart." Kirsty reassured her "I'm just going to tell you straight rather than talking around it..." she began as Nita eyed her carefully "We're going to stay with Adam for a bit"

"Why?" Nita asked a little confused.

"This house..." Kirsty explained "I just can't..." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes "I need to go away from this place."

"I want to stay here." Nita said bluntly "this is our home! I don't want to stay with Adam!"

"Please Nita..." Kirsty pleaded "Please don't make this hard..."

"But this is our house there's no reason we can't stay here!" Nita protested

"Nita, this place holds too many bad memories and I just can't be here anymore..." Kirsty tried to explain not wanting to burden her thirteen year old with everything going on in her head.

"I'll stay here by my self then." Nita jutted out her jaw determinedly "Why are you trying to ruin my life!" she blurted out "Why can't everything just got back to normal? Why can't I have a normal family?"

"I'm sorry Nita." Kirsty felt tears rising at her daughters upset "Its final Adam is coming at six so please go upstairs and pack anything you want for now ok?"

"Not ok." Nita said simply "I hate you." She added bitterly before storming upstairs leaving Kirsty in tears.

She knew Nita wouldn't take well to this onto of everything. She had tried to stay at home for Nita. She had tried but she couldn't do it.

Nita slammed her door and collapsed on her bed and letting the tears trickle down her face.

Everything just seemed to be all messed up.

Why was her life never normal?

Why did her Mum keep messing up the normal bits of her life?

It had been hard enough with both parent's in hospital having to explain to her class mates that she was living with her Mum's friend because her Mum was poorly and her dad was not well either. Then someone had found out about the psych ward and she had been laughed at for having a mental dad. She had ignored it but it had hurt. She didn't like it. She wanted a normal family again with her Mum and her Dad, She didn't want to be the kid who's Dad was on a psych ward. She wanted to have a proper home to go to after school if the kids in her class found out she knew they would laugh.

Why her? Why did everything bad have to happen to her?

Was it all her fault?

Maybe if she had never been born her dad wouldn't have started hitting her Mum and they would be happy? Maybe things could have been different if she had been a better daughter, her Mum wouldn't want to move out because everything would be ok?

She heard a knocking on her door and looked up snapping from her thoughts.

She just wanted to be normal.

"Go away!"

Kirsty headed upstairs and knocked on Nita's door as she passed to her own bedroom. Nita had snapped a 'Go away' and Kirsty sighed. One day everything would settle down, one day she would be able to give Nita a much more stable home life than she had ever experienced before.

"Adam's coming at six, we are going to stay with him if you like it or not so make sure you have packed whatever you want." She told Nita through the door.

"Whatever." Was the reply she received. She sighed and headed into her own room.

Six o'clock came quickly and the door bell rang just as Kirsty did up her suitcase. She dreaded to think if Nita had packed or was going to throw a tantrum. Collecting herself together she headed downstairs to answer the door. Adam noticed the puffy eyes immediately

"You ok?" he asked gently

"Nita isn't too pleased..." Kirsty sighed sadly

"It's a lot of upheaval for a teenager."Adam pointed out

"Am I doing the right thing Adam?"

"Do you honestly feel comfortable in this house?" Adam asked her gently

"No." Kirsty replied without even having to think "I can't..." tears pricked at her eyes and Adam wrapped her in a hug

"Look it's not your fault." Adam reassured her "Your trying to do what is best for you and for her, you can't be the best Mum possible if you are always exhausted now can you?"

"No, no I can't." Kirsty nodded as she stepped back "You don't have to take us in..."

"I want to, my house feels pretty empty at the moment I have to admit!" Adam smiled and Kirsty nodded a little nervous

"Nita! Bring your stuff downstairs Adam's here!"

Kirsty shouted up the stairs, with a small nod to Adam she headed upstairs to get her own suitcase and returned.

They waited a few minutes before Nita's bedroom door flew open and she headed downstairs.

"Hi Nita how are you doing?" Adam asked as she reached the hallway. He received a glare and she walked right past him.

"Adam was speaking to you!" Kirsty pointed out

"So?" Nita replied sharply

"Don't worry." Adam said to Kirsty before picking up the suitcase Nita had put down on the floor. "Let's go, It looks like both of you need a break and some time to think."

It was one of the most awkward journeys Adam had ever experienced. He could have cut the tension in the car with a knife it was that thick. When they pulled up at his house Adam let them in and then fetched the suitcases in from the boot.

Nita immediately snatched hers up as Adam put it down headed up to what had been her temporary room whilst her parents had been in hospital without saying a word.

"I'm sorry..." Kirsty apologised as soon as they had heard the door slam "I don't know why she's being so rude... well I do... I keep messing her around." She looked down at her feet

"She'll settled back down, don't worry." Adam reassured her "Things are a little bit of a mess but now you can start sorting them out. Plus she's a teenager, I bet you rebelled when you were her age?"

"I rebelled as much as I possibly could." Kirsty reflected as Adam directed her into the kitchen "My parents were never that good at being parents. I thought... I thought I was a better Mum... maybe I was mistaken."

"You are a brilliant Mum Kirsty." Adam reassured her

"Then why is my daughter so upset?" Kirsty replied sadly

"Because it's not been an easy time for either of you." Adam pointed out as he directed her through to the kitchen

"I guess." Kirsty nodded "I wish I could make everything work out with Warren for Nita..." she added wistfully

"He's the one that has made it impossible for you to work things out." Adam pointed out "He chose to hurt you."

"It's not just his fault." Kirsty sighed sadly "I always provoked him..."

"No one deserves or provokes that kind of beating Kirsty. He stabbed you, no one deserves that." Adam said sadly "Come on let me get you a glass of wine I think you need to relax and stop blaming yourself, it'll be ok in the end you'll see."

She nodded and watched as Adam produced a bottle of wine and poured her a glass. He passed it over and she took a sip looking thoughtful.

"I hope your right." She whispered sadly between sips "I really hope you are."


	31. Birthday Disaster

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 31 – Birthday Disaster **

Adam had really hoped he would be right and that things would be ok once Nita had calmed down but her bad mood didn't vanished quite as quickly as he had hoped it would. A week after Kirsty and Nita had moved in and Nita was still kicking up a fuss. She would vanish to the room she was sharing with Kirsty for the majority of the time she was in the house and ignore all but the most basic requests from either Adam or Kirsty.

It wasn't like moving in together had changed much between Adam and Kirsty, other than the fact that they spent a lot more time together. Adam would often find Kirsty scouring the pages of the papers looking for new flats with very little luck. Though Adam didn't mind, secretly sharing the house with Kirsty and Nita was making his evenings a lot less lonely and a lot more pleasant, even if there was constantly tension in the air at the moment, he almost didn't want them to leave.

The second week of Kirsty and Nita living with Adam arrived quickly. As did the Friday, which was Nita's fourteenth birthday. It had been a fairly quiet week. Nita's hiding in the bedroom routine was still in place. Adam found himself spending a fair bit of time watching endless hours of television in silence with a sad and thoughtful Kirsty. Nita's attitude was taking its tole on her. He wished she would just talk about it. He had tried to make suggestions but been snapped at so he had decided to let Kirsty ask him if she wanted help because he didn't know what to say or do for the best. It wasn't like he was Nita's Dad or even her step dad, in fact he was nothing more than her mother's friend and work colleague, it was to his place to step in and Kirsty had obviously not intentions of letting him her tough 'I can deal with this' front flung back into place. It hurt Adam that he couldn't fix this for her, things had been hard enough the last few months for the determined nurse she deserved a break from all the drama.

Tuesday evening Adam arrived home from an afternoon shift, Kirsty had been on mornings and had already headed back to the house. Adam had expected to return to the usual silence, Kirsty flat hunting, Nita hiding in her room but instead as he opened the door the shouting reached his ears.

He stepped towards the kitchen door listening carefully.

"Why do we have to stay here!" Nita was yelling

"You like Adam!" Kirsty argued back avoiding the subject

"Doesn't mean I'd rather live here than at home!" Nita replied angrily "He's not my dad just because you want to play house with some doctor!"

"I am not playing house! Adam is a good friend! I am trying to find us a flat!" Kirsty replied her voice raised and tense

"I don't want some poxy flat! Why can't we go back home!"

"Because I can't live there anymore!" Kirsty sighed as she said this Adam could just see her trying to fight back the bad memories of the old house as she spoke.

"But it'll get better!" Nita sounded desperate not angry "Maybe when Dad gets out we can be a family again?"

"Nita, you know why that won't happen." Kirsty's voice was gentle and firm

Nita sighed angrily and something banged loudly. Adam guessed she had slammed a cupboard door.

"What about my birthday?" she said bluntly "Can we go out together for my birthday? Lisa's parents are divorced and they still have a family meal."

"Nita this isn't like the normal divorce! Your dad put me in hospital! I know you wish we could be a family but he screwed up every chance of that ever happening! I'm sorry sweetheart I just can't. Not yet anyway. Nita you're a smart girl! Why can't you understand why after everything your dad has done I just can't!" Kirsty shouted the last few words in frustration.

Nita sighed again. It was obviously beginning to click that her father had beyond crossed the line and that Kirsty wanted to stay away from him.

"You can go see him but I don't want to see him." Kirsty offered "We can go to the movies after or maybe we can have a meal to celebrate just the two of us ok?"

"I want to have a party!" Nita argued immediately "Everyone else has a party!"

"Well it's just going to have to be a quiet one this year!" Kirsty sighed "I'm sorry Nita I just can't afford a big party if we want to get a flat anytime soon."

"Why can't I just have a normal family!" Nita exclaimed loudly "Why did you have to let Dad beat you up!" Anger was clear in Nita's voice now. "I don't want to live with your stupid friend! I want my Mum and my Dad! I want a birthday party! I just want to be normal!"

"Nita…" Kirsty warned Adam could hear the tears in her voice "I want you to be happy but things are complicated at the moment…"

"Screw you!" Nita yelled angrily storming to the door, Adam only just got out the way before it flung open and he was facing the angry teenager. Their eyes met. "Get out my way!" Nita yelled before shoving past him and storming off upstairs.

"Kirsty?" Adam asked stepping into the kitchen

"You said it would be ok." Kirsty turned to face him a few tears were streaking her face

"it will be…" Adam tried to reassure her

"Not it won't!" Kirsty yelled at Adam "It's won't be ok!" standing up "She hates me! I can't even afford to let her have a birthday party how rubbish a mother am I?" She half shouted half sobbed.

"I can lend you some money…" Adam offered

"I don't need hand outs!" Kirsty shouted

"Kirsty calm down." Adam said gently as she shook her head and sobbed

"She's my daughter, this is my mess I'll be out of your hair soon!" Kirsty shouted

Adam grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. She fought at first but then eventually collapsed sobbing into his chest.

"It's ok to accept help." Adam said gently

"I know I just want to look after her, prove I can." Kirsty mumbled looking up into his eyes. "I don't know why she hates me so much…"

"She doesn't hate you she's just confused and upset." Adam comforted Kirsty "it will be alright. I promise."

He keep her there wrapped in his arms for a good half hour. He couldn't help but feel butterflies in his stomach, he shook himself out of it. Right now was not the right time to be developing any sort of feelings for the curly haired nurse.

Friday came around. Nita came home from school on Wednesday after the argument with Kirsty to announce she was going to go see Warren on her birthday then one of her friends had organised a little party at their house. Adam was pleasantly surprised to hear Nita asking Kirsty nicely if she could go, it was the most civil conversation the teenager had been involved in since Kirsty and Nita had moved in. Kirsty had been a little shocked and later she admitted to Adam, upset, that she couldn't throw her a party herself but had said yes in hope of making Nita happy.

Kirsty returned home from dropping Nita. She wished she could be more involved in her daughter's birthday party but if going round a friend's house made Nita happy then maybe it had been best to let her go?

"She's all grown up." Kirsty said sitting down at the table so quietly Adam didn't notice her presence until she spoke up. He put his paper down and looked Kirsty up and down. Things had been such a mess for her recently.

"She is." Adam nodded "She's a credit to you, she'll be ok once everything settles down."

"I know." Kirsty sighed "She always was a bit of a daddy's girl… I don't want to stop her seeing Warren but there is no chance I'm going back…"

"You don't have to." Adam reassured her

"Yeah well once he's better we can sell the house and we can get out your hair if I can't find somewhere cheap enough before then." Kirsty sighed as the oven bleeped

"You can stay here as long as you like." Adam smiled standing up "I'll be honest, I like the company, even if I have to listen to the odd screaming match." He winked

Kirsty smiled slightly

"I like the company too." She admitted "I feel safe with you."

Adam blushed slightly

"Just having someone about you know…" She added blushing slightly and looking down at the table as Adam opened the oven she didn't want Adam to think anything. She wasn't looking for anything more than friendship from anyone right now. Was she?

"I know." Adam nodded reassuringly as Kirsty sighed slightly "Lasagne?" Adam asked placing a tray fresh from the oven on the table in front of Kirsty

"Oh you didn't have to!" Kirsty said realising that Adam has cooked enough for her too.

"Practicing being a good host." He winked "Even got a bottle of red, fancy a glass?"

"Ok." Kirsty smiled surprised by Adam's thoughtfulness. "A nice relaxing evening with no stress and no teenagers to deal with is just what I need."

"Figured as much." Adam smiled as he plated up the lasagne

Kirsty watched him with a small smile on her face. Things had been far from easy the past few months but something about Adam and his cooking made her feel like it would be worth it in the end.

It had been a nice evening, the meal, the wine and some telly on the sofa just doing nothing as Adam had put it as they chatted away about work. To Kirsty it was almost like the days before she had been hospitalised only sitting and chatting with Adam in his own house and not in the staffroom. He was good company.

It wasn't until the news flashed up on the screen that Kirsty realised that Nita was half an hour late. She suddenly felt like a terrible mother as she sprang up from the sofa leaving a rather dazed and confused Adam to watch her hurried out the room.

She open the front door and peered outside like she might find Nita waiting on the door step.

She didn't.

Adam poked his head around the door to see what she was doing.

"She's not back."

"She's probably just running late." Adam tried to reassure Kirsty as she pulled out her mobile and dialled Nita's number

"I hope your right." Kirsty replied before turning her attention to the phone as she pressed it to her ear.

It rang but no answer.

"What if something's happened?" Kirsty said worriedly as she hung up a second time having reached Nita's answerphone.

"She's a teenager Kirsty, I bet she's lost track of time." Adam tried to reassure her but as Kirsty lifted the phone to her ear one more time she glared at him. He shut up and watched as she left a message for Nita.

An hour passed. Nita was an hour and a half late. Kirsty was out of her mind.

"If she doesn't come back in…" Kirsty stared when the door banged open

Kirsty immediately jumped up from the stair she had been sat on as Nita fell through the front door. Literally.

She pulled herself up laughing hysterically.

"Nita!" Kirsty hurried over "Where the hell have you been I was so worried!" she immediately began telling her off before taking in the state of her daughter. "Are you drunk?" she asked anger replacing the worry in her voice

Nita giggled.

"You are!" Kirsty said shocked "You're drunk!" she accused her

"It's my birthday!" Nita yelled back as she leant on the wall "and you're the worst mum ever!" she added before storming off in a rather wobbly fashion upstairs leaving Kirsty in tears.

"Kirsty?" Adam stepped forwards and tried to touch her arm reassuringly "Are you ok?"

"She hates me." Kirsty said with a small shake of her head as she turned to face him "she really hates me."

Adam tried to wrap her in his arms but Kirsty wriggled free shaking her head.

"Don't. Just don't." Kirsty shook her head turning and heading into the kitchen leaving Adam stood watching her leave worried.


	32. Rebellion

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 32 - Rebellion**

Nita took a long drink from the bottle in her hand before she threw it into the bin and staggered across the road towards Adam's house. She liked vodka it meant she didn't have to think about the confusion of home. She enjoyed the nights she spent on the park with her friends, it was like she was a world away from her parent's messed up marriage.

She staggered up the steps. Her mum always looked hurt when she returned home drunk but Nita was too upset and confused to care. She flung the door open and giggled as she fell into the house.

Kirsty looked up from the floor. She had been sat on the stairs waiting for Nita to return. It was 1am on Friday night, or should that be Saturday morning. Adam had already gone to bed as he was on the early shift but Kirsty couldn't face sleeping without knowing Nita was home safe. She watched as Nita staggered in drunk again. She really didn't know what to do anymore.

"Nita!" Kirsty exclaimed as she staggered through the door

"Hi Mum!" Nita beamed drunkenly

Kirsty sighed sadly.

"Let's get you to bed." Kirsty said reaching for Nita's arm

"No! I want to dance!" She spun around screeching loudly

"Shh Nita! Adam's in bed!" Kirsty tried to quiet the teenager with little effect

"Well he shouldn't have asked us to stay then!" Nita snarled her cheeriness flicking to anger like someone had flicked a switch "Why did you have to screw everything up?"

Kirsty sighed again. No point arguing with a drunk teenager.

"I think you've had a bit too much to drunk. Time for bed." Kirsty said simply

"Get off me." Nita hissed as Kirsty tried to guide her towards the stairs "I'm perfectly capable of making my own way to bed." She announced as she staged up the stairs grasping at the banister for dear life. Kirsty followed warily only to find the bedroom door slamming in her face. Tears sprang to her eyes as she stared at the closed door wondering why things were going so wrong.

"Kirsty?" Adam's head popped out his bedroom door, his voice sounded concerned

"I'm sorry she woke you up." Kirsty offered him a weak smile

"It's ok it's not your fault." Adam reassured her

"She's my daughter." Kirsty pointed out "I'll see you in the morning." She added heading towards the stairs

"Where are you going?" Adam asked a little confused

"I don't think she wants to see me tonight, I'm going to sleep on the sofa…"

"Don't be silly, you can't stay on the sofa, you can sleep in here..." Adam suggested "if you want that is… It's a double bed after all… and I won't try anything on… I promise." He blushed slightly and Kirsty smiled

"Ok." She agreed following him into his room, she was exhausted and the sofa looked distinctly uncomfortable compared to Adam's bed.

"Help yourself." Adam said as he shut the door and Kirsty wiped the tray tears from her eyes.

Kirsty yawned and climbed into one side on his bed and lay down facing the bright numbers of the alarm clock telling her it was 2am. Adam climbed in behind her and flicked off the light.

"Night Kirsty." He said as he closed his eyes

"Night." Kirsty mumbled back her eyes still wide open watching the minutes tick past. "Where did I go so wrong?" she added suddenly turning to face Adam, she could see his eyes shining in the moonlight that was creeping through the curtains.

"You didn't, Warren did, everything is a bit confusing for Nita and she's rebelling, things will get better." Adam promised

Kirsty nodded as tears trickled down her face.

"Come here." Adam opened his arms as he spotted the tears falling from Kirsty's eyes. She shuffled closer letting him hold her close "It will work out."

Kirsty nodded slightly and let the silent tears fall soaking Adam's t-shirt. Adam held her close. Before he knew it Kirsty's tears had stopped and she had fallen asleep, her chest rising and falling slowly. Adam felt his own eyelids growing heavy as he began to doze off too feeling a warm tingly sensation in his stomach, having Kirsty curled up next to him felt so right.

The sun was bright and an alarm was bleeping loudly. Kirsty's eyes flung open, that wasn't her alarm. She glanced around and realised she was in Adam's room, she lifted her head from Adam's chest and sat up the events of the night before coming back to her.

Adam stirred as Kirsty moved. She shook him gently.

"You've got work." She said as he eyes opened and met hers

"Ah Damn." Adam yawned sitting up "Are you ok?"

"Fine." Kirsty mumbled blushing slightly feeling a little awkward about having ended up in Adam's bed last night "I'm going to put the kettle on do you want a coffee?" she asked slipping out of his bed

"Please." Adam said as she got out of bed himself

Kirsty vanished from the room and creped passed the room she usually shared with Nita and downstairs. She bustled about the kitchen putting the kettle on and sorting the mugs. She couldn't help but think about how safe she had felt with Adam last night no matter how much she tried to push the doctor form her mind and focused instead on spooning coffee into the two mugs.

Before she knew it Adam head left for work and it was just Kirsty and Nita left in the house. Should she confront her? Should she tell her off? Should she ground her? Kirsty sighed and settled down on the sofa. She turned on the television deciding to wait until Nita appeared before she confronted the teenager about her behaviour the night before.

By 11am Nita still hadn't appeared. Kirsty was idly flicking through channels when the phone rang. Kirsty pulled herself up and headed into the hallway to answer it expecting it to be someone ringing to speak to Adam as usual.

"Hello, Adam Trueman's house..." She started but the caller interrupted her immediately and a familiar voice entered her ears making her blood run cold.

"Hello Kirsty." Warren's voice echoed down the phone. "Long time no speak."


	33. The Phone Call

**Behind Closed Doors **

**Chapter 33 – The Phone Call **

Warren. Why was Warren ringing her? How did he get Adam's number? What did he want?

"How did you get this number?" Kirsty asked panic filling her body unsure what to make of the situation.

"From my mum." He sneered

"Please leave me alone…" Kirsty immediately began but Warren spoke up

"I don't want to speak to you, I want to speak to my daughter." He said simply

"Why do you want Nita?" Kirsty asked suspiciously

"I'm home, with my mum, I want to arrange for her to stay." Warren answered innocently.

Kirsty sighed she couldn't stop Nita visiting her dad without good reason, she had said as much when she asked Warren for a clean break. He had never hurt Nita and Nita loved her Dad so she could hardly ban her from visiting him if he was now out of the hospital.

"I guess that is ok I'll get her but you lay a finger on her…" Kirsty started but Warren interrupted her

"You're paranoid." Warren replied bluntly

"For good reason!" Kirsty hissed "We need to discuss the house." She added with a sigh "We need to organise selling it…"

"I'm moving back. When I am allowed too. You took Nita and you got me locked up, I'm keeping the house."

Kirsty sighed. She had had a feeling he would be awkward about this.

"What am I supposed to do?" she asked her heart sinking, How could she ever afford another house for her a Nita? She couldn't keep living off Adam's generosity forever.

"Whatever you want to do, but the house is mine." Warren replied "I want to talk to Nita." He added making it clear the discussion about the house was over

"Ok." Kirsty sighed

She put the phone down on the table not wanting to speak to her husband any longer and hurried upstairs. Hammering on the bedroom door she woke Nita who grumpily told her to go away before Kirsty managed to announce it was her father on the phone. Nita sprung out of bed at this piece of news and hurried down to take the call. Kirsty couldn't help but feel a little angry when Nita reacted so positively to her father's phone call.

She settled herself on the sofa in the living room listening to Nita's half of the conversation as she told her Dad all about school and got excited about going to stay and what they were going to do. Kirsty couldn't help but wonder why Nita didn't love her in the same way.

"Dad said I could go and stay with him and Gran next weekend!" Nita eventually stuck her head around the door into living room grinning, her eyes daring Kirsty to challenge her.

"That's nice sweetheart." Kirsty replied dully

"Dad wants to arrange it with you." She added offering Kirsty the phone. Kirsty dragged herself over to the hallway and accepted the handset back off her now much cheerier daughter.

"You can bring her over after school on Friday." Warren said as Kirsty placed the phone back to her ear and Nita hurried off upstairs.

"Yeah ok." Kirsty agreed

"Right well I'll see you both on Friday then. Straight after school." Warren said bluntly

"Ok." Kirsty replied as Warren hung up

Kirsty put the phone down and stood there rooted to the spot. She hadn't expected the call at all and she was already thinking of all the bad that could come from this. She didn't even know Warren had been released. Nita never told her much about her visits and she had been more than happy not to ask questions about Warren but the fact he was now out hit her like brick to the chest. She suddenly felt very vulnerable.

One good thing came from Warren's call. Nita actually seemed to calm down, she even briefly apologised for coming in drunk when she came downstairs later in the day before vanishing back to her room with a glass of orange juice. Adam returned to find a rather thoughtful and spaced out Kirsty sat on the sofa that evening.

"Earth to Kirsty?" he said after watching her staring at the television for a good ten minutes without evening noticing he had appeared

She glanced up to see a worried looking Adam watching her.

"Oh I'm sorry I was on another planet." She forced a small smile onto her face.

"You sure were!" Adam smiled "Are you ok?" Adam asked stepping into the room properly

"Fine." Kirsty brushed it off.

"What's up?" He asked sounding concerned knowing that Kirsty was not fine at all

"Nothing." She replied defensively

"Kirsty I can tell there's something on your mind... I know it's none of my business but I just want to help." He said gently

"Warren called." Kirsty informed Adam

"What did he want?" Adam asked sitting down next to Kirsty

"To have Nita over to stay, turns out he's been released off the psych ward." Kirsty told him

"Are you ok?" Adam asked gently

"I just feel… nervous." She told Adam biting her lip "He's not locked up anymore, he could come over here anytime…" she confessed "I'm scared."

"He won't if he knows what is good for him and if he does I will personally call the police and make sure he never comes near you again." Adam said protectively "Might even fight him off myself..."

Kirsty smiled slightly at the idea of Adam fighting Warren off

"Did you arrange for Nita to visit?" Adam asked

"Not arranged as such more like was told… she's going away for the weekend next weekend." She told Adam "I'm to take her over after school. She's happy enough and it's nice to see her happy…"

"Yeah, maybe it will help things for her?" Adam suggested

"Maybe it will." Kirsty nodded "Look… can you… I mean if you busy its ok… but can you give us a lift and… wait whilst I talk to him…" She asked nervously "I'd feel safer if you were close by…" she confessed

"Of course." Adam nodded "I'd be happy too."

"Thank you." Kirsty breathed a visible sigh of relief.

After a peaceful week, in comparison to the week before, Adam drove Nita and Kirsty to Warren's mother's house.

Kirsty could feel her heart pounding in her chest as they pulled up outside and an excited Nita bounded out of the car

"I'll come find you if your gone long." Adam promised and Kirsty nodded, her mouth felt like sand paper, worried, panic, nerves. So much was going through her mind. "Go on." Adam said encouragingly.

Kirsty slipped from the car and stared up at the familiar yet surprisingly threatening house where the door was opening to reveal Warren's familiar face and the piercing grey eyes. He hugged Nita as she approached.

"Hello." His voice sounded hoarse and threatening "You don't need to stay."

"Ok…" Kirsty's voice was shaking with nerves

"I'll take Nita to school on Monday you can pick her up afterwards."

Kirsty breathed a sigh of relief, she was glad she wasn't going to have to come face to face with her soon to be ex-husband when picking up Nita.

Nita didn't even seem to notice the tension between the pair.

"What about the house?" Kirsty tried hoping with Nita there Warren might change his mind about throwing her out on the street.

"Is mine. Don't fight it or I will make your life not worth living." Warren hissed bluntly "Come on Nita, Gran's made her special Sheppard's pie…"

He directed Nita into the house, the teenager was babbling away excitedly and Warren simply shut the door in Kirsty's face leaving her stood shocked for a couple of minutes before Adam's voice broke through her thoughts.

"Are you ok?"

His voice echoed from the open car window.

She took a deep breath and turned to face him.

"Fine." She replied walking back to the car, she let herself in and slumped in the passenger seat.

"She'll be ok with him?" Adam asked a hint of worry in his voice

"Oh he loves Nita he wouldn't hurt a hair on her head." Kirsty shrugged "I was always the only one who deserved to be his punching bag."

"Don't say that" Adam said gently Kirsty simply turned and looked out the window

"His Mum is there too, he wouldn't dare try anything with her there anyway, not even with me."

"Ok." Adam nodded "Look you might as well make the most of it." He suggested as he turned the car engine on "I've got a bottle of wine and I know a good take out!" He suggested

Kirsty smiled, he was right, she knew Nita was safe so the best thing she could do right now was to make the most of it.

"Add in a movie and you have a deal."

"Done!" Adam chuckled slightly as they set off back to his.


End file.
